Don’t recognize the name? Maybe you’ll recognize the commercial (played often in movie theaters recently before the previews). It’s also apparently a web hit as well (link). When I first saw this commercial when the Doc and I went to watch It’s Complicated, I laughed my ass off. Sure, a lot of the credit probably should go to the marketing department of Old Spice or the writers of that commercial, but they’re the same guys that forced those unfunny commercials with Tony Stewart and Brian Urlacher flashbacks. Happily, I believe they got it right with Isaiah Mustafa.
The commercials (now 2) with him are funny. They’re a little more over the top than the great ones starring Bruce Campbell, but they hit all of the right notes with his uber-manly delivery and surreal premise. Is he Bruce Campbell? Of course not. Only Bruce Campbell can be Bruce Campbell.
I’ll admit it. I’ve never heard of Isaiah Mustafa before the Old Spice commercial. So I looked him up in IMDB and found his page. Apparently, he’s been in guest spots for NCIS and NCIS: Los Angeles. Also, it looks like he’s going to have a part in an upcoming episode of Castle… That’s three shows I watch regularly! And that’s why he gets an honorable mention in the Man Crush section.
And, Isaiah, if you’re reading this, feel free to put this on your résumé.
Friday, February 26, 2010
Dropping the Deuce on… The 2010 Winter Olympics
I don’t care what other’s opinions are, but the Winter Olympics have absolutely nothing I want to watch and the rest of television is suffering in a spiral of re-runs because of it. I’m not saying that none of those events are worthy of medals or should not be considered Olympic events, I’m just saying none of those events interest me enough to commit time to watch. I’ll admit that 99% of the competitions are impossible for me to do even in a leisurely manner, but maybe that’s a reason for why I don’t watch them. I can dream about hitting a buzzer beater in a basketball game or hitting in the game-winning run in baseball, but I can’t imagine myself doing a triple axel spin for the gold or getting big air on the giant slalom.
The X-Game type of events, like snowboarding, ski jumps, etc., never made me care about who’s on top or who’s involved. I used to watch figure skating when there was that whole Nancy Kerrigan “Why me?” drama, but that quickly died down when she got the silver medal. And when it comes to hockey, I take the Rodney Dangerfield perspective. “I went to watch a fight and a hockey game broke out.” Not my sport.
The only solace I thought I would get from the whole Olympics experience would be the opening ceremony. The 2008 opening ceremony in Beijing kicked ass. I almost had a seizure from all of the colors and lights. Maybe they set the bar too high for Canada, because I was totally unimpressed. Well, let me scale that back. There were the cool lighting effects they had on the ground like when they had images of whales swimming by and the ground actually squirted out water from their spouts at the right moments. But everything else was underwhelming. I should have immediately lowered my standards when Bob Costas mentioned that the budget compared to Beijing was a fraction of it and that the coordinator wanted to focus on an individual instead of an entire nation. I would have bought it on paper, but when I actually saw it TV, I was not impressed. It was nice that they dedicated the opening ceremony to the luger that died before the games started, but after that, I didn’t want to have to sit through a 10 minute video of a dude snowboarding down a mountain. Oh and the finale was complete laugh riot where the fourth column of the Olympics pyre wouldn’t come up so they had four of Canada’s proudest athletes just standing near the end of the ceremony with forced and uncomfortable grins while their eyes are darting in every direction wondering what the heck they were supposed to do. Unfortunately, my DVR had stopped recording before they actually lit the fire. That’s right. I didn’t even watch that live. I was too busy getting my car towed.
I used to hear friends of mine say that the whole Olympics are corrupt and unsafe. I used to brush them off like crazy statements I could hear on the street corner of a seedy neighborhood, but after the death of the luger, they definitely got me wondering about the safety aspect. I saw the footage of the crash. It was just terrible. Then I saw the precautions they took after the fact and just shook my head in disappointment. They built up a thin wood barrier on the wall that the luger flew over and they are making the lugers start at a lower point to decrease their speeds. For some reason, I was expecting something more professional looking than a sore thumb wooden board held up by planks. Sure, it would probably do the job since I think most of the danger is subsided by just keeping the athletes from flying out of the course and into the poles, but the pictures I saw just seemed half-assed to appease the outraged world. The wooden board was a good start, but I would have also put padding on all of the poles in case they flew right through that wall and showed EMTs at every “danger zone” of the course. Are the EMTs over-zealous? Maybe, but I wouldn’t risk a life just because it seems to be overdoing things. Also, the Olympic committee did a total douche bag move by blaming the death on the luger himself because of he made a steering miscalculation. Sure he wasn’t probably wasn’t the best in the world, but they had to have known something dangerous like that could have happened when some of the world’s best were wiping out at the same turn that killed him. Yeah, hindsight is 20/20 and all that mumbo-jumbo, but they could have at least gotten in front of the press and said, “Our bad. We’ll learn from this so that it doesn’t happen again.” Instead, they said, “It was his fault, but we’ll put up this board to keep the others from flying out.”
So to recap:
Events are not my cup of tea. TV is forced to show re-runs of good shows. “Why me?” Rodney Dangerfield is hilarious. Opening ceremony debacle was almost as funny but took too long to get to the punch-line. Tragedy of luger sucked and mishandled.
Yeah, the Winter Olympics suck.
The X-Game type of events, like snowboarding, ski jumps, etc., never made me care about who’s on top or who’s involved. I used to watch figure skating when there was that whole Nancy Kerrigan “Why me?” drama, but that quickly died down when she got the silver medal. And when it comes to hockey, I take the Rodney Dangerfield perspective. “I went to watch a fight and a hockey game broke out.” Not my sport.
The only solace I thought I would get from the whole Olympics experience would be the opening ceremony. The 2008 opening ceremony in Beijing kicked ass. I almost had a seizure from all of the colors and lights. Maybe they set the bar too high for Canada, because I was totally unimpressed. Well, let me scale that back. There were the cool lighting effects they had on the ground like when they had images of whales swimming by and the ground actually squirted out water from their spouts at the right moments. But everything else was underwhelming. I should have immediately lowered my standards when Bob Costas mentioned that the budget compared to Beijing was a fraction of it and that the coordinator wanted to focus on an individual instead of an entire nation. I would have bought it on paper, but when I actually saw it TV, I was not impressed. It was nice that they dedicated the opening ceremony to the luger that died before the games started, but after that, I didn’t want to have to sit through a 10 minute video of a dude snowboarding down a mountain. Oh and the finale was complete laugh riot where the fourth column of the Olympics pyre wouldn’t come up so they had four of Canada’s proudest athletes just standing near the end of the ceremony with forced and uncomfortable grins while their eyes are darting in every direction wondering what the heck they were supposed to do. Unfortunately, my DVR had stopped recording before they actually lit the fire. That’s right. I didn’t even watch that live. I was too busy getting my car towed.
I used to hear friends of mine say that the whole Olympics are corrupt and unsafe. I used to brush them off like crazy statements I could hear on the street corner of a seedy neighborhood, but after the death of the luger, they definitely got me wondering about the safety aspect. I saw the footage of the crash. It was just terrible. Then I saw the precautions they took after the fact and just shook my head in disappointment. They built up a thin wood barrier on the wall that the luger flew over and they are making the lugers start at a lower point to decrease their speeds. For some reason, I was expecting something more professional looking than a sore thumb wooden board held up by planks. Sure, it would probably do the job since I think most of the danger is subsided by just keeping the athletes from flying out of the course and into the poles, but the pictures I saw just seemed half-assed to appease the outraged world. The wooden board was a good start, but I would have also put padding on all of the poles in case they flew right through that wall and showed EMTs at every “danger zone” of the course. Are the EMTs over-zealous? Maybe, but I wouldn’t risk a life just because it seems to be overdoing things. Also, the Olympic committee did a total douche bag move by blaming the death on the luger himself because of he made a steering miscalculation. Sure he wasn’t probably wasn’t the best in the world, but they had to have known something dangerous like that could have happened when some of the world’s best were wiping out at the same turn that killed him. Yeah, hindsight is 20/20 and all that mumbo-jumbo, but they could have at least gotten in front of the press and said, “Our bad. We’ll learn from this so that it doesn’t happen again.” Instead, they said, “It was his fault, but we’ll put up this board to keep the others from flying out.”
So to recap:
Events are not my cup of tea. TV is forced to show re-runs of good shows. “Why me?” Rodney Dangerfield is hilarious. Opening ceremony debacle was almost as funny but took too long to get to the punch-line. Tragedy of luger sucked and mishandled.
Yeah, the Winter Olympics suck.
Monday, February 15, 2010
Bad Friday Or How to Lose $266 to the Man
The Date: Feb 12, 2010
The Setup: The Doc and I had to go into a part of the cities that we don't usually go to for a birthday celebration of a friend in a pretty fancy restaurant and found a pay parking lot across the street from the restaurant.
The Issue: Even after paying the parking lot fee, my car was still towed. I had to pay $258 in cash, because they don't accept credit cards. That's right, folks. The Deuce was towed and I'm not sure how I could have followed the rules any better.
The Facts: Around 7:20-7:25pm, The Doc and I parked at a pay parking lot across the street from the restaurant where we were supposed to meet our friends for a dinner reservation. The parking lot was by no means a technical wonder. There was no one on the lot to take the $8 fee, so I parked my car and asked the Doc to stay in the car so we don't get called on any violations while I walked to the entryway and looked for instructions on how to pay the fee. There was a red lockbox with a sign that basically said, take an envelope, right your license plate on the envelope, place your money in the envelope, then put the envelope into the red lockbox. So I took an envelope (well, I actually took two because the first one was ripped) from a hook right above the lockbox. I walked back to my car because I wanted to make sure I got my license plate right. Yeah, I should know it by heart since I've had that plate for almost 5 years now, but I'm the type of guy who takes a couple steps away from my front door and then walk a couple steps back just to double-check that I had locked the door. It doesn't hurt to double-check these things just to get a sense of reassurance that I've done what I've thought I've done. Anyway, I wrote my license plate on the envelope (helped that I had a pen in my coat so that I could write it down while I stood behind my car). The Doc got out of the car after locking the doors and asked if I needed any cash (she only had $20 bills). Luckily, I had the exact $8 because I had broken a $20 bill after a lunch at the Olive Garden the weekend before. I placed the $8 into the envelope and then after wondering how the envelope got sealed (turned out there was a sticker type paste on the flap), we placed the envelope into the lockbox. This whole sequence took about 5 minutes before we crossed the street to the restaurant.
We were the first ones of a party of 14 to arrive because my friends are usually late to these things (the b-day girl didn't even arrive until 20-25 minutes after the reservation was scheduled). Thankfully a couple of my friends came around 7:35pm (didn't check my watch when they arrived, but they mentioned they were being fashionably late by arriving a couple minutes late). We held a conversation and laughed and enjoyed everyone's company. Once everyone arrived, we ordered our foods and ate. The entire dinner took around 2 hours and we had a great time. Little did the Doc and I know, our car was being towed around 8:25pm (according to the tow company receipt, well, it said 20:25 and I'm assuming that means 8:25pm).
The Doc and I didn't realize my car was towed until around 11:45pm when we returned after our friends dispersed after enjoying entertainment after the dinner. Thankfully, the first group of friends that arrived had parked at a meter on the street next to the lot I had parked. That's when a great night was ruined.
The attendant of the lot was there (WHERE WAS HE WHEN WE ORIGINALLY PARKED????). He claimed he did not find the envelope I had placed in the lockbox until after the car was towed and that I had probably put it in there after the car was towed... Oh, that pissed me off! He found the money after he called for my car to be towed! But I kept a cool head. The Doc kept a cool head. I actually had to hold one of my friends back, figureatively speaking, before he was about to verbally bitch-slap the attendant. I called the phone number of the lot (left a voice mail), while the Doc got the attendant's name and wrote down the information on the lot. We tried to make our case and use logic to prove that we did not pay the fee after the fact, but the attendant did the whole, "You'll have to take your complaints to lot owner". We realized he was just weaseling himself out of the situation and was going to be nothing but a headache to deal with.
Thank you, to my friends, for being there for us. They carpooled the Doc and I to an ATM and then took us to the tow company impound lot where we retreived my car.
The next day, the lot owner replied to my voice mail, but basically took his attendant's side. No surprise there. I pled our case and he said he'd check on the story. An hour later, I got a call from someone else (claimed to be an investigator) and stated that he's taking the word of the attendant that my money was not in the lockbox before the towing. Ugh! All I have are witnesses that could prove that I did not put my money in the box after the car was towed, so how did my money magically appear in the box?
The Aftermath: $266 is not chump change for me. Because of that hit to my wallet, I had to cancel on the expensive Valentine's Day dinner plans I had planned for the Doc. Usually, I'd have enough in savings to absorb such a blow, but I had made a big item purchase earlier that day that weakened it and couldn't sustain the hit. That sucked. The rest of the weekend was pretty much ruined. My mood was down and didn't recover to normal levels until the 14th where the Doc and I could do a cheaper Valentine's (watched a movie in a theater and enjoyed a homemade dinner).
Lesson Learned: I'm never going to park at a pay parking lot without receiving a timestamped receipt. This whole ordeal turned into a he-said-he-said and I lost to the employee. I should have known it seemed shady and incredibly behind on the times, but I put my faith in the lot and was disappointed. Would I describe that I still feel violated? Sure, but in no way am I equating what happened to me with rape or the loss of a loved one, no. It did feel like someone stole my car and forced me to pay $258 to get it back.
Steps We're Taking: The Doc and I submitted a complaint online to the local Better Business Bureau. BBB? Yeah, I didn't think such a thing existed, but the Doc found it. They could mediate the complaint we have since I couldn't think of how I could have followed the lot's posted instructions any better without getting towed. We've pretty much given up on getting the money back even though the truth is on our side. I'm not familiar with the BBB and I'm not sure of the extent of their abilities. The Doc's sister said we should call the local news and try to make a big hullabaloo about the whole thing. That's just not in me.
I'm cutting back on my spending to recuperate the money we lost that night and I have sworn to never park at any of those lots ever again, only ramps with electronic reciepts for me! The Doc, on Valentine's Day morning, gave me a gift of cash to pay for half of the tow fee. She's a great girlfriend and the whole experience would have been absolutely horrifying if she wasn't there to hold my hand. Thank you, Doc.
I've kept all names and businesses out of this blog in case of legal issues, but believe me, I was biting my lips to not tell you all to avoid this parking lot's business.
Wow, this blogging thing is pretty theraputic.
The Setup: The Doc and I had to go into a part of the cities that we don't usually go to for a birthday celebration of a friend in a pretty fancy restaurant and found a pay parking lot across the street from the restaurant.
The Issue: Even after paying the parking lot fee, my car was still towed. I had to pay $258 in cash, because they don't accept credit cards. That's right, folks. The Deuce was towed and I'm not sure how I could have followed the rules any better.
The Facts: Around 7:20-7:25pm, The Doc and I parked at a pay parking lot across the street from the restaurant where we were supposed to meet our friends for a dinner reservation. The parking lot was by no means a technical wonder. There was no one on the lot to take the $8 fee, so I parked my car and asked the Doc to stay in the car so we don't get called on any violations while I walked to the entryway and looked for instructions on how to pay the fee. There was a red lockbox with a sign that basically said, take an envelope, right your license plate on the envelope, place your money in the envelope, then put the envelope into the red lockbox. So I took an envelope (well, I actually took two because the first one was ripped) from a hook right above the lockbox. I walked back to my car because I wanted to make sure I got my license plate right. Yeah, I should know it by heart since I've had that plate for almost 5 years now, but I'm the type of guy who takes a couple steps away from my front door and then walk a couple steps back just to double-check that I had locked the door. It doesn't hurt to double-check these things just to get a sense of reassurance that I've done what I've thought I've done. Anyway, I wrote my license plate on the envelope (helped that I had a pen in my coat so that I could write it down while I stood behind my car). The Doc got out of the car after locking the doors and asked if I needed any cash (she only had $20 bills). Luckily, I had the exact $8 because I had broken a $20 bill after a lunch at the Olive Garden the weekend before. I placed the $8 into the envelope and then after wondering how the envelope got sealed (turned out there was a sticker type paste on the flap), we placed the envelope into the lockbox. This whole sequence took about 5 minutes before we crossed the street to the restaurant.
We were the first ones of a party of 14 to arrive because my friends are usually late to these things (the b-day girl didn't even arrive until 20-25 minutes after the reservation was scheduled). Thankfully a couple of my friends came around 7:35pm (didn't check my watch when they arrived, but they mentioned they were being fashionably late by arriving a couple minutes late). We held a conversation and laughed and enjoyed everyone's company. Once everyone arrived, we ordered our foods and ate. The entire dinner took around 2 hours and we had a great time. Little did the Doc and I know, our car was being towed around 8:25pm (according to the tow company receipt, well, it said 20:25 and I'm assuming that means 8:25pm).
The Doc and I didn't realize my car was towed until around 11:45pm when we returned after our friends dispersed after enjoying entertainment after the dinner. Thankfully, the first group of friends that arrived had parked at a meter on the street next to the lot I had parked. That's when a great night was ruined.
The attendant of the lot was there (WHERE WAS HE WHEN WE ORIGINALLY PARKED????). He claimed he did not find the envelope I had placed in the lockbox until after the car was towed and that I had probably put it in there after the car was towed... Oh, that pissed me off! He found the money after he called for my car to be towed! But I kept a cool head. The Doc kept a cool head. I actually had to hold one of my friends back, figureatively speaking, before he was about to verbally bitch-slap the attendant. I called the phone number of the lot (left a voice mail), while the Doc got the attendant's name and wrote down the information on the lot. We tried to make our case and use logic to prove that we did not pay the fee after the fact, but the attendant did the whole, "You'll have to take your complaints to lot owner". We realized he was just weaseling himself out of the situation and was going to be nothing but a headache to deal with.
Thank you, to my friends, for being there for us. They carpooled the Doc and I to an ATM and then took us to the tow company impound lot where we retreived my car.
The next day, the lot owner replied to my voice mail, but basically took his attendant's side. No surprise there. I pled our case and he said he'd check on the story. An hour later, I got a call from someone else (claimed to be an investigator) and stated that he's taking the word of the attendant that my money was not in the lockbox before the towing. Ugh! All I have are witnesses that could prove that I did not put my money in the box after the car was towed, so how did my money magically appear in the box?
The Aftermath: $266 is not chump change for me. Because of that hit to my wallet, I had to cancel on the expensive Valentine's Day dinner plans I had planned for the Doc. Usually, I'd have enough in savings to absorb such a blow, but I had made a big item purchase earlier that day that weakened it and couldn't sustain the hit. That sucked. The rest of the weekend was pretty much ruined. My mood was down and didn't recover to normal levels until the 14th where the Doc and I could do a cheaper Valentine's (watched a movie in a theater and enjoyed a homemade dinner).
Lesson Learned: I'm never going to park at a pay parking lot without receiving a timestamped receipt. This whole ordeal turned into a he-said-he-said and I lost to the employee. I should have known it seemed shady and incredibly behind on the times, but I put my faith in the lot and was disappointed. Would I describe that I still feel violated? Sure, but in no way am I equating what happened to me with rape or the loss of a loved one, no. It did feel like someone stole my car and forced me to pay $258 to get it back.
Steps We're Taking: The Doc and I submitted a complaint online to the local Better Business Bureau. BBB? Yeah, I didn't think such a thing existed, but the Doc found it. They could mediate the complaint we have since I couldn't think of how I could have followed the lot's posted instructions any better without getting towed. We've pretty much given up on getting the money back even though the truth is on our side. I'm not familiar with the BBB and I'm not sure of the extent of their abilities. The Doc's sister said we should call the local news and try to make a big hullabaloo about the whole thing. That's just not in me.
I'm cutting back on my spending to recuperate the money we lost that night and I have sworn to never park at any of those lots ever again, only ramps with electronic reciepts for me! The Doc, on Valentine's Day morning, gave me a gift of cash to pay for half of the tow fee. She's a great girlfriend and the whole experience would have been absolutely horrifying if she wasn't there to hold my hand. Thank you, Doc.
I've kept all names and businesses out of this blog in case of legal issues, but believe me, I was biting my lips to not tell you all to avoid this parking lot's business.
Wow, this blogging thing is pretty theraputic.
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Man Crush of January 2010: Conan O’Brien
Runners-up: Robert Downey Jr. (Sherlock Holmes), James Cameron (Avatar)
In the month where Avatar was king of the box office and Robert Downey won a Golden Globe for his wicked awesome portrayal of Sherlock Holmes, one man was able to body slam the army of blue aliens, give an atomic wedgie to the super sleuth, and brazenly insert a catheter into a gasping network… that man is Conan O’Brien.
Coco has done well for himself. Sure it’s depressing that NBC is making a bad situation worse, but Conan O’Brien was able to leave with America on his side and his pockets filled with cash. His stint on the Tonight Show was lagging in the ratings but that’s more to blame because of the poor lead-in he got from the Jay Leno Show. You can hope to have your star player come into the game and turn things around, but NBC was expecting Conan to give them the victory when they’re down by 50 points with ten seconds left on the clock. Michael Jordan would balk at that and then give you the finger.
But with NBC favoring Jay Leno over Conan, there wasn’t much he could do except have them buyout his contract (I heard he got around 60 million) and promise to stay away from late night television for a little while. Not a bad deal. It’s kind of like getting paid a crazy amount of money to do nothing and promise to do nothing for half a year. While suckers like us have to actually work to get paid.
I watched his last episode on the Tonight Show (thanks to the magic of DVR) and liked how he seems to have Tom Hanks and Will Ferrell on his side. Not so much impressed with Will Ferrell as I am that he’s got Tom Hanks. That’s power. The rest of the show wasn’t the greatest, but like the series finale of Seinfeld, it got the job done. I’m going to miss his Tweet of the Week segments and his self-deprecating humor.
The exclamation point to the month was that I heard rumors that he’s already in talks with Fox to have his own late night show on their network (a la David Letterman to CBS). They just need to wait a couple months for the NBC blockade to be removed and then they are ready to move forward. I haven’t been an avid follower of Fox since I don’t really watch Glee and I prefer to watch Family Guy on DVD so that I don’t have those pesky commercials get in the way, but I’d definitely try out the Conan show if they bring back Max Weinberg and Andy Richter.
Oh yeah, and there’s word that NBC might pick up a sitcom that Conan is producing. Way to kick a dying network while it’s down, man. I applaud that because I’m imagining Conon kicking a dying peacock with a little Hitler mustache while it’s saying that America prefers to have more Jay Walking and Kevin Eubanks. Nobody wants that.
Conan, you have pried the title away from the deadly grip of Andrew Dice Clay and have become the new badass of comedy. I bow to you, sir.
In the month where Avatar was king of the box office and Robert Downey won a Golden Globe for his wicked awesome portrayal of Sherlock Holmes, one man was able to body slam the army of blue aliens, give an atomic wedgie to the super sleuth, and brazenly insert a catheter into a gasping network… that man is Conan O’Brien.
Coco has done well for himself. Sure it’s depressing that NBC is making a bad situation worse, but Conan O’Brien was able to leave with America on his side and his pockets filled with cash. His stint on the Tonight Show was lagging in the ratings but that’s more to blame because of the poor lead-in he got from the Jay Leno Show. You can hope to have your star player come into the game and turn things around, but NBC was expecting Conan to give them the victory when they’re down by 50 points with ten seconds left on the clock. Michael Jordan would balk at that and then give you the finger.
But with NBC favoring Jay Leno over Conan, there wasn’t much he could do except have them buyout his contract (I heard he got around 60 million) and promise to stay away from late night television for a little while. Not a bad deal. It’s kind of like getting paid a crazy amount of money to do nothing and promise to do nothing for half a year. While suckers like us have to actually work to get paid.
I watched his last episode on the Tonight Show (thanks to the magic of DVR) and liked how he seems to have Tom Hanks and Will Ferrell on his side. Not so much impressed with Will Ferrell as I am that he’s got Tom Hanks. That’s power. The rest of the show wasn’t the greatest, but like the series finale of Seinfeld, it got the job done. I’m going to miss his Tweet of the Week segments and his self-deprecating humor.
The exclamation point to the month was that I heard rumors that he’s already in talks with Fox to have his own late night show on their network (a la David Letterman to CBS). They just need to wait a couple months for the NBC blockade to be removed and then they are ready to move forward. I haven’t been an avid follower of Fox since I don’t really watch Glee and I prefer to watch Family Guy on DVD so that I don’t have those pesky commercials get in the way, but I’d definitely try out the Conan show if they bring back Max Weinberg and Andy Richter.
Oh yeah, and there’s word that NBC might pick up a sitcom that Conan is producing. Way to kick a dying network while it’s down, man. I applaud that because I’m imagining Conon kicking a dying peacock with a little Hitler mustache while it’s saying that America prefers to have more Jay Walking and Kevin Eubanks. Nobody wants that.
Conan, you have pried the title away from the deadly grip of Andrew Dice Clay and have become the new badass of comedy. I bow to you, sir.
Man Crush Hall of Shame January 2010: Tiger Woods
Reason for Fame:
This one is easy. It's because he kicks ass at a sport I never really followed until he joined it. End of Story.
Oh that's not enough for you? Ok, how about the racial barriers he brought to light in a sport no one really cared about?
Still not enough? How about the uber hot blonde Scandenavian wife of his and the millions upon millions of dollars he makes for just being him?
Reason for Shame:
Ok, I'll admit this right away. This is about as reactionary as unstable reactions can get. As of this post, 15 women have come out as having had an affair with him. Now this can differ from person to person, but my morals say that once you put a ring on the finger of a special woman, even one single affair is inexcuseable. At fifteen affairs, you're revealing a whole new douchbag of problems. And on a lesser note, none of the women he cheated with were by any means hotter than his wife (did I mention she was a hot blonde Scandenavian?). A lot of the pictures of these women looked like the kind you could find at the corner of STD Road and Are-You-Out-Of-Your-Damn-Mind Blvd.
Then there's the fact that he's got kids with his wife. Kids. If you got kids and you have an affair, you've earned yourself a permanent footnote in my Guide To Be a Idiot (pending).
Dudes, let's step aside for a manly morality check: If you're unhappy with your marriage, then talk to your spouse. You may not like the results (divorce, counseling, fat lip), but it's the moral thing to do. Don't go stepping out on your wife with the first piece of tail that seems drunk enough to let you slip into her naughty bits. You made a pledge and real men keep their promises unless it ends up hurting too many people to keep it. If your marriage does end in divorce, then you can go buckwild into whatever direction you want (be a little responsible if you have kids though).
So Tiger Woods, I know that this is a quick judgement on you and probably only 7 of the 15 affairs are true, but if I stack on the hot wife and 2 kids, you've pretty much gotten to this dishonor while lying on your back. But who knows, maybe in time, the shame status won't sting so much... look at Kobe Bryant.
This one is easy. It's because he kicks ass at a sport I never really followed until he joined it. End of Story.
Oh that's not enough for you? Ok, how about the racial barriers he brought to light in a sport no one really cared about?
Still not enough? How about the uber hot blonde Scandenavian wife of his and the millions upon millions of dollars he makes for just being him?
Reason for Shame:
Ok, I'll admit this right away. This is about as reactionary as unstable reactions can get. As of this post, 15 women have come out as having had an affair with him. Now this can differ from person to person, but my morals say that once you put a ring on the finger of a special woman, even one single affair is inexcuseable. At fifteen affairs, you're revealing a whole new douchbag of problems. And on a lesser note, none of the women he cheated with were by any means hotter than his wife (did I mention she was a hot blonde Scandenavian?). A lot of the pictures of these women looked like the kind you could find at the corner of STD Road and Are-You-Out-Of-Your-Damn-Mind Blvd.
Then there's the fact that he's got kids with his wife. Kids. If you got kids and you have an affair, you've earned yourself a permanent footnote in my Guide To Be a Idiot (pending).
Dudes, let's step aside for a manly morality check: If you're unhappy with your marriage, then talk to your spouse. You may not like the results (divorce, counseling, fat lip), but it's the moral thing to do. Don't go stepping out on your wife with the first piece of tail that seems drunk enough to let you slip into her naughty bits. You made a pledge and real men keep their promises unless it ends up hurting too many people to keep it. If your marriage does end in divorce, then you can go buckwild into whatever direction you want (be a little responsible if you have kids though).
So Tiger Woods, I know that this is a quick judgement on you and probably only 7 of the 15 affairs are true, but if I stack on the hot wife and 2 kids, you've pretty much gotten to this dishonor while lying on your back. But who knows, maybe in time, the shame status won't sting so much... look at Kobe Bryant.
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