A couple weekends ago, the Doc and I went to watch an afternoon showing of the Tina Fey/Steve Carell comedy Date Night and we had a blast.
I’ll admit that I was skeptical about the film before we went to watch it, especially when I was leaning towards watching Kick-Ass or Clash of the Titans… or even How To Train Your Dragon. I was pleasantly surprised.
These were one of the cases where the movie was not properly advertised. I went in thinking that all of the good jokes were already revealed in all of the commercials and trailers I’ve already seen on television, but they weren’t. I also thought the movie was going to be nothing more than a string of stale jokes and gags while being light on story, but I was wrong on that as well. I thought I was going to just sit in the theater and fake laugh when other people in the theater were laughing at jokes that would have, at best, made me smile at home, but I laughed hard enough that tears came out during some points. I don’t know why fake laugh when there’s other people laughing. Thankfully, I know my laughs were real because 12:45pm on a Saturday isn’t what I’d call the theater’s most crowded time. The Doc and I actually got really good seats. As a quick little side note: not only did we pay less for tickets because of the earlier time, the Doc and I got great seats, we were able to stretch out our legs and use the arm rests on our chairs, and when the movie was finished, we got to go on with the rest of the day with a smile. I recommend going to the day showings for movies whenever you can. Now on to the review!
Cast
The cast was brilliant. So much so, I’m surprised they were able to afford all those great comedians/actors and still be able to make a profit. As I’ve mentioned before, Tina Fey and Steve Carell star in this movie and they are hilarious. I thought one of them was going to go too far over the top, but they both kept were able to get a good level of goofiness (when they awkwardly do a striptease together) with heartfelt comedy (Steve Carell’s short monologue to Mark Wahlberg near the end). Mark Wahlberg’s character actually fit well in the movie. All of the commercials made it seem like his character was way too over-the-top when it comes to his almost sci-fi gadgets, but it was toned down in the movie. They could have gone just fine without the hi-tech computers and he still, believably, could have done the things he did, like trace a cell phone or call the police. Jimmi Simpson (I remember him as Mary in Psych) and Common (great musician and great actor) were pitch perfect baddies. Then there were the scene-stealers in James Franco (charcter is named “Taste”) and Mila Kunis (character is named “Whipit”). Stephanie Wiig and Mark Ruffalo had cameo-like appearances in the beginning that help get the ball rolling in the movie. And a side-note, one of my favorite comedians, Bill Burr, gets a lot of face-time (though few lines) in the movie as a police detective. Also Leighton Meester got a roll as the babysitter (I chose her a while ago to be Lana Lang if I casted Superman).
Story
The story was really good. I was surprised by this. I don’t know why I went into it with such low expectations, but I did and was surprised. The setup was basically that the main couple (Tina Fey and Steve Carell) find out separately that one of their couple friends were getting a divorce because their marriage had gotten stale or systematic. This sparks Steve Carell and Tina Fey to go into New York City (they live in Jersey) to have a date night. They usually had a date night at a local restaurant and get a usual order. As the commercials showed, they took someone else’s reservations and it turned out those people were up to no good. I’m going to avoid spoilers by saying the story was great. Yes, it got goofy in some parts, like when they run with a boat over their heads or when they seemed to have fused a Audi with a taxi, but the story was surprisingly believable and I actually found myself routing for the main characters. I haven’t routed for a character in a comedy in a long time. Yes, there were a lot of jokes and gags, but they worked well and the movie never felt like they were beating me over the head with jokes just to get a rise out of me.
Soundtrack
Yeah, I didn’t really listen for music when watching this film. This movie could have had nothing but white noise playing in the background and I’d still enjoy it.
Overall
This definitely gets a recommendation from me to watch in the theaters. But if you can’t swing that, then renting works just fine. Also, make sure to sit through the beginning credits and enjoy the gag reels where you see some alternate lines they tried out for some scenes. I think some of them would have made me laugh a lot harder, but were probably outside the lines for their characters.
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Man Crush of April 2010: Chicago Bulls
Runners-Up: Robert Downey Jr (Iron Man 2), Mickey Rourke (Iron Man 2), Joss Whedon (The Avengers)
What? Another sports-related winner? That's right! When last year I only had a passing fancy for b-ball, I've been glued to the web this year when it came to the Chicago Bulls. But before I get to that, let's go through this month's runners-up.
No big surprise here. Robert Downey Jr has been a runner-up for the past couple of months because of Iron Man 2. So I, nor should any of you, would not be surprised if he finally wins the top honor when the movie is finally released this week. Mickey Rourke became a runner-up as well for Iron Man 2 because I finally did research on the Whiplash character he plays. That's right. My knowledge of Iron Man mythos is quite limited. I know about the Mandarin and Fin Fang Foom, but that's about it when it comes to his rogues gallery. Joss Whedon gets a nod as well because I heard he's going to direct the upcoming Avengers movie. Oh, quick sad story. The Doc won two free tickets from the radio (KS95) to see Iron Man 2 this Saturday. The sad part is that we are going to Wisconsin to visit her parents this weekend and the tickets she won are only good for a specific theater and time. We can't even give them/sell them because it's one of those things where she can only pick the tickets up at the theater and needs to show the proper identification. Ultra lame. But suggesting that we skip the parental visit did not seem to bode well with her. Oh well. Maybe tickets in no-where Wisconsin will be so cheap that it'll feel like they're free when compared to the ticket prices in Minneapolis.
But back to the crush-worthy winners. I wanted to keep these winners to be to an individual, but the team overall has impressed me and kept me glued to my seat until the end of the season. I guess I was more ho-hum last year because they had pretty much locked up their playoff tickets before the month even started due to lack of competition. This year, it was down to the very last game. It was a two team race for the last spot for the Easter Conference bracket: The Bulls and the Toronto Raptors. Both weren't haven't stellar seasons. The Raptors had the tiebreaker and were a couple games ahead of the Bulls at the beginning mainly because the Bulls suffered a ten-game losing streak where players were getting injured and the teams they were playing against were either the cream of the crop or just exploited the holes or match-up advantages. The sigh-of-relief here came when Chris Bosh and the Raptors just couldn't seem to win when they needed to. It went to a point where the Bulls were finally able to start winning games and were tied in the standings with the Raptors at the time they were supposed to play against each other. I was really anxious about this game because earlier in the season, the Raptors beat the Bulls during most of their meetings (thus why they earned the tie-breaker). But the Bulls handed the Raptors their own asses because Chris Bosh was out with a face injury and Hedo Turkoglu (the Raptors big free agent pick up last summer) was a major dud. AFter that game, the Bulls were ahead and either needed to win one of their games against teams with winning records (the Boston Celtics and the Charlotte Bobcats) and the Raptors lose at least one of their games against sub-.500 teams. So, long story short, the odds were against the Bulls. As expected, the Raptors won both of their games, meaning the Bulls had to win both of their games as well. The game against the Celtics wasn't going to be easy because even though they were already in the playoffs, they were playing for positioning which would matter a lot to them. But thankfully, the Bulls dominated them and even confused Rasheed Wallace (big ticket Celtics free agency pickup) to score some points for the Bulls. Then came the game with the Charlotte Bobcats. By then, the Bobcats were set in their position (couldn't go up or down), but their coach, Larry Brown, went into the game claiming he wasn't going to let up on the Bulls just because they had nothing to play for. He didn't want to disappoint the fans. Into the first quarter, after the Bulls were playing great and some of the Bobcats players went down with injuries, Brown quickly pulled out his starters and handed the game to the Bulls. Man that was exciting.
The Bulls played an inspiring group of games that just kept me excited. Derrick Rose, the athletic point guard that the Bulls somehow lucked into drafting two years ago, has become a major player and an All-Star. Joakim Noah, the flamboyant and unconventional big man, grew into the emotional and vocal leader of the group after years of being reprimanded for his unusual ways. Luol Deng, the subtle Englishman who was hampered by injuries for the past couple of years, became a steady contributor. Kirk Hinrich, the captain of the team, became a defensive stopper and "glue guy". And the surprise of the year, Taj Gibson, the 26th pick of the 2009 draft, became a great power forward. I remember on draft day, with the 26th pick, I was hoping the Bulls would take Wayne Ellington from North Carolina because he was a decent shooting guard and, after losing Ben Gordon to free agency, I thought he was the sensible choice. Then the Bulls chose Taj Gibson. I had never heard of Taj before that night. What confounded me more was that they had already picked a power forward with their 16th pick. Also, if they were going to choose a power forward, Dejuan Blair was still available and even though he didn't have any ACLs, it was beast on the boards. But Taj actually excelled beyond the 16th pick player (James Johnson) and has made people wonder if they Bulls should have picked someone else with the 16th pick since Taj has been dominant (he was elected to be in the All-Rookie First Team). To be honest, I would have chosen Ty Lawson with the 16th pick as a backup guard if I was planning on using the 26th on Taj Gibson. But hindsight is 20/20, as they say.
All season long, the number goal, as it seemed, for the Bulls was the Free Agency Class of 2010 (LeBron James, Dwayne Wade, Chris Bosh, Joe Johnson, Amare Stoudemire, and more). The Bulls removed some decent players this year (John Salmons, Tyrus Thomas) to get expiring contracts to get enough cap space to offer a maximum deal to one of those players. But instead of forfeiting the season, the Bulls were still able to make the playoffs and give a selling point that they already have great pieces (Derrick Rose, Joakim Noah) that will help support the new coming player in the upcoming season. The New York Knicks have enough space for 2 maximum players, but were in a death spiral all year and can't say like the Bulls can that they have great supporting players already in place. Miami, Wade's team, has enough room for another max player to help Wade, but after having to suffer through the playoffs that felt like it was just him versus the entire Boston Celtics team, frustration may be enough to entice him to look at his hometown Chicago Bulls (his children also live in the Chicago area). When the Bulls made the playoffs, they were up against the monstruous Cleveland Cavaliers team with Lebron James. I knew the Bulls had no chance of winning the series, but they were able to showcase their growing skills against the Number One team in the NBA and even win a game against them.
Now that their season has ended, I've been digging through the web for mock drafts. They have the 18th pick on the 2010 draft and many think that depending on who they pick, may be a sign as to who they may be shooting for the most in free agency. If they pick a shooting guard, they'll be aiming for a power forward in free agency (Chris Bosh, Amare Stoudemire, David Lee). If they pick a power forward, they'll be aiming for a shooting guard in free agency (Dwayne Wade, Joe Johnson, Monta Ellis, Ray Allen). Or they may do something completely unexpected like trade down into the draft to get an extra pick and fill in both positions or outright trade the pick for a future pick with a bad team in order to get a shot at the 2011 lottery. I'm excited about the options, if you can't tell. My dream would be for the Bulls to get Dwayne Wade because Taj Gibson has been serviceable as the starting power forward. If we can't get Wade, I'd actually be okay with getting 2 mid-level guys like David Lee and Ray Allen. Joe Johnson has been said to be major target, but he hasn't really shown me that he can take over like Dwayne Wade or even like Derrick Rose has. A lot of people on the Bulls blog site seem to be in love with Chris Bosh, but he's more of a stat guy to me and not much of a star guy, if you know what I mean. Some players can give a team an invisible 20 points/10 rebounds a game and then there are some players that can give you the magical 10-20 points your team needs to win a game.
But anyway, that entire month, I've been enamored with the Chicago Bulls and how can I not be? They kept me at the edge of my seat all month and accomplished what they had to do. Now I just have to wait and see what they do next... whatever I can do to make it so I stop thinking about those lost Iron Man 2 tickets...
What? Another sports-related winner? That's right! When last year I only had a passing fancy for b-ball, I've been glued to the web this year when it came to the Chicago Bulls. But before I get to that, let's go through this month's runners-up.
No big surprise here. Robert Downey Jr has been a runner-up for the past couple of months because of Iron Man 2. So I, nor should any of you, would not be surprised if he finally wins the top honor when the movie is finally released this week. Mickey Rourke became a runner-up as well for Iron Man 2 because I finally did research on the Whiplash character he plays. That's right. My knowledge of Iron Man mythos is quite limited. I know about the Mandarin and Fin Fang Foom, but that's about it when it comes to his rogues gallery. Joss Whedon gets a nod as well because I heard he's going to direct the upcoming Avengers movie. Oh, quick sad story. The Doc won two free tickets from the radio (KS95) to see Iron Man 2 this Saturday. The sad part is that we are going to Wisconsin to visit her parents this weekend and the tickets she won are only good for a specific theater and time. We can't even give them/sell them because it's one of those things where she can only pick the tickets up at the theater and needs to show the proper identification. Ultra lame. But suggesting that we skip the parental visit did not seem to bode well with her. Oh well. Maybe tickets in no-where Wisconsin will be so cheap that it'll feel like they're free when compared to the ticket prices in Minneapolis.
But back to the crush-worthy winners. I wanted to keep these winners to be to an individual, but the team overall has impressed me and kept me glued to my seat until the end of the season. I guess I was more ho-hum last year because they had pretty much locked up their playoff tickets before the month even started due to lack of competition. This year, it was down to the very last game. It was a two team race for the last spot for the Easter Conference bracket: The Bulls and the Toronto Raptors. Both weren't haven't stellar seasons. The Raptors had the tiebreaker and were a couple games ahead of the Bulls at the beginning mainly because the Bulls suffered a ten-game losing streak where players were getting injured and the teams they were playing against were either the cream of the crop or just exploited the holes or match-up advantages. The sigh-of-relief here came when Chris Bosh and the Raptors just couldn't seem to win when they needed to. It went to a point where the Bulls were finally able to start winning games and were tied in the standings with the Raptors at the time they were supposed to play against each other. I was really anxious about this game because earlier in the season, the Raptors beat the Bulls during most of their meetings (thus why they earned the tie-breaker). But the Bulls handed the Raptors their own asses because Chris Bosh was out with a face injury and Hedo Turkoglu (the Raptors big free agent pick up last summer) was a major dud. AFter that game, the Bulls were ahead and either needed to win one of their games against teams with winning records (the Boston Celtics and the Charlotte Bobcats) and the Raptors lose at least one of their games against sub-.500 teams. So, long story short, the odds were against the Bulls. As expected, the Raptors won both of their games, meaning the Bulls had to win both of their games as well. The game against the Celtics wasn't going to be easy because even though they were already in the playoffs, they were playing for positioning which would matter a lot to them. But thankfully, the Bulls dominated them and even confused Rasheed Wallace (big ticket Celtics free agency pickup) to score some points for the Bulls. Then came the game with the Charlotte Bobcats. By then, the Bobcats were set in their position (couldn't go up or down), but their coach, Larry Brown, went into the game claiming he wasn't going to let up on the Bulls just because they had nothing to play for. He didn't want to disappoint the fans. Into the first quarter, after the Bulls were playing great and some of the Bobcats players went down with injuries, Brown quickly pulled out his starters and handed the game to the Bulls. Man that was exciting.
The Bulls played an inspiring group of games that just kept me excited. Derrick Rose, the athletic point guard that the Bulls somehow lucked into drafting two years ago, has become a major player and an All-Star. Joakim Noah, the flamboyant and unconventional big man, grew into the emotional and vocal leader of the group after years of being reprimanded for his unusual ways. Luol Deng, the subtle Englishman who was hampered by injuries for the past couple of years, became a steady contributor. Kirk Hinrich, the captain of the team, became a defensive stopper and "glue guy". And the surprise of the year, Taj Gibson, the 26th pick of the 2009 draft, became a great power forward. I remember on draft day, with the 26th pick, I was hoping the Bulls would take Wayne Ellington from North Carolina because he was a decent shooting guard and, after losing Ben Gordon to free agency, I thought he was the sensible choice. Then the Bulls chose Taj Gibson. I had never heard of Taj before that night. What confounded me more was that they had already picked a power forward with their 16th pick. Also, if they were going to choose a power forward, Dejuan Blair was still available and even though he didn't have any ACLs, it was beast on the boards. But Taj actually excelled beyond the 16th pick player (James Johnson) and has made people wonder if they Bulls should have picked someone else with the 16th pick since Taj has been dominant (he was elected to be in the All-Rookie First Team). To be honest, I would have chosen Ty Lawson with the 16th pick as a backup guard if I was planning on using the 26th on Taj Gibson. But hindsight is 20/20, as they say.
All season long, the number goal, as it seemed, for the Bulls was the Free Agency Class of 2010 (LeBron James, Dwayne Wade, Chris Bosh, Joe Johnson, Amare Stoudemire, and more). The Bulls removed some decent players this year (John Salmons, Tyrus Thomas) to get expiring contracts to get enough cap space to offer a maximum deal to one of those players. But instead of forfeiting the season, the Bulls were still able to make the playoffs and give a selling point that they already have great pieces (Derrick Rose, Joakim Noah) that will help support the new coming player in the upcoming season. The New York Knicks have enough space for 2 maximum players, but were in a death spiral all year and can't say like the Bulls can that they have great supporting players already in place. Miami, Wade's team, has enough room for another max player to help Wade, but after having to suffer through the playoffs that felt like it was just him versus the entire Boston Celtics team, frustration may be enough to entice him to look at his hometown Chicago Bulls (his children also live in the Chicago area). When the Bulls made the playoffs, they were up against the monstruous Cleveland Cavaliers team with Lebron James. I knew the Bulls had no chance of winning the series, but they were able to showcase their growing skills against the Number One team in the NBA and even win a game against them.
Now that their season has ended, I've been digging through the web for mock drafts. They have the 18th pick on the 2010 draft and many think that depending on who they pick, may be a sign as to who they may be shooting for the most in free agency. If they pick a shooting guard, they'll be aiming for a power forward in free agency (Chris Bosh, Amare Stoudemire, David Lee). If they pick a power forward, they'll be aiming for a shooting guard in free agency (Dwayne Wade, Joe Johnson, Monta Ellis, Ray Allen). Or they may do something completely unexpected like trade down into the draft to get an extra pick and fill in both positions or outright trade the pick for a future pick with a bad team in order to get a shot at the 2011 lottery. I'm excited about the options, if you can't tell. My dream would be for the Bulls to get Dwayne Wade because Taj Gibson has been serviceable as the starting power forward. If we can't get Wade, I'd actually be okay with getting 2 mid-level guys like David Lee and Ray Allen. Joe Johnson has been said to be major target, but he hasn't really shown me that he can take over like Dwayne Wade or even like Derrick Rose has. A lot of people on the Bulls blog site seem to be in love with Chris Bosh, but he's more of a stat guy to me and not much of a star guy, if you know what I mean. Some players can give a team an invisible 20 points/10 rebounds a game and then there are some players that can give you the magical 10-20 points your team needs to win a game.
But anyway, that entire month, I've been enamored with the Chicago Bulls and how can I not be? They kept me at the edge of my seat all month and accomplished what they had to do. Now I just have to wait and see what they do next... whatever I can do to make it so I stop thinking about those lost Iron Man 2 tickets...
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Dropping the Deuce on… Dancing with the Stars
Why am I going to rant about this terrible, terrible show? Because it’s been eating time out of my life. Luckily, I’ve been able to soften the blows by doing crosswords or Sudoku or doing stuff on my computer while the Doc has it running on the DVR. Why is the Doc watching it? Because she’s a follower of almost everything Kate Gosselin. I’m not a fan, but that’s not what the rant is about. It’s about the system DWTS uses. That’s right! The system!
This show is an abomination because it has the visage of a competition, but in reality, it’s just a popularity contest. They have judges that hand give out “best out of ten” scores which are worth about as much as the points that Clive Anderson and Drew Carey used to dish out on Whose Line Is It Anyway? (very funny show, by the way). That’s right, the scores mean nothing! What does it matter if the worst scoring people will always return when there’s always a possibility that even the best scoring duo can still get eliminated due a celebrity’s larger initial fan base?
I’m not dropping on American Idol, which is also a popularity contest, but they at least don’t do things to mask that fact. The judges don’t hand out scores, only critiques. The judges on American Idol also have one “save” on the show where they can nullify the elimination if they believe the best person what voted off due to a dip in votes from the audience, like they did a week ago. Plus, one of biggest gripes, is that the more popular celebrities are already coming in with voters just because they are more famous than some of the other contestants. The American Idol contestants are all coming in on even, unknown status and are, hopefully, gaining votes because of their talent and merit with the occasional “vote for the worst just so they suck again next week” votes.
But back to DWTS. The show, itself, is fine. Celebrities dance with professional dancers. Tom Bergeron and Brooke Burke do a mediocre, yet serviceable job of hosting the show. The judges are characters in themselves with the supportive Paula Abdul-type, the scowling Simon Cowell-type, and a clown who knows his stuff. Like all reality shows, there’s those melodramas they play out before each dance is performed. Kate Gosselin is bitching. Pamela Anderson is being slutty. Chad Johnson (I refuse to call him Ochocinco) is trying to woo his dance partner. Blah, blah, blah. The dancing has highs and lows, like any other competition of these types. Kate and Buzz Aldrin were painful to watch. The singer from Pussycat Dolls and the ice skater are, not surprisingly, good. One thing I learned from this show was that Erin Andrews has some wicked long legs. Seriously, I can probably walk underneath them without having to crouch.
And now back to my pain point—the system. They are completely missing the marks here when it comes to the whole elimination portion of the show. Every week’s completion should be scored and I say that the highest scoring celebrity win’s immunity from elimination. That would at least make the scoring portion of the show feel less like a waste of time. Why give out points if they aren’t going to be used for anything? I can see the reason they don’t give out immunities is so that more people will feel inclined to text or call in their votes and thus give them more revenue, but if the number one goal is to milk the text/call money, then why not give yourself more advertising time as well, by saving 10-15 minutes for more advertising space by removing those useless “let’s see your scores” moments. Maybe they can do a reversal on the scoring I mentioned and do something like, the bottom three in scores are the only ones at risk of being eliminated? That would make the results show a lot shorter and maybe fill in a 30 minute episode. That’ll give ABC another 30 minute time slot on Tuesday that they can use to put on another sitcom or a smaller budget game show. I watched one of the results shows and was bored to tears for the entire hour. They have all of the dancers standing in front of the camera and slowly shave away the safe dancers until the last two worst vote getters are left standing. They were able to fluff this into an entire hour by throwing filler like musical guest singers, like Reba McIntyre, or have a guest dance troupe or even make a celebrity do the exact same dance they did the night before because it was “just that good”. Fluff, fluff, dumb fluff.
The Doc would probably like me to end with a complaint about the incredibly revealing outfits some of the female dancers are wearing during their routines. That’s right. Pamela Anderson is not the only one out there that seems like they had a couple turns on the stripper pole. One behind the scenes practice they showed had one of the professional dancers wearing elastic short-shorts and had a battery for her microphone clipped to the back. That battery looked like it was a gram away from being heavy enough to show us her trunk, if you know what I mean. During the performances, the outfits have more cloth, but only the sense that the difference is like between a bikini model and a bikini model wearing a cape. In the end, when they start moving around, it doesn’t make much difference. Sometimes, the only thing that seems to be keeping those dresses on their bodies is modesty or threats from TV censors since I’m pretty sure that anyone willing to be on that show lacks some degree of modesty.
Oh yeah, and one last thing, to whomever is sending those death threats to Erin Andrews, “Really?”
This show is an abomination because it has the visage of a competition, but in reality, it’s just a popularity contest. They have judges that hand give out “best out of ten” scores which are worth about as much as the points that Clive Anderson and Drew Carey used to dish out on Whose Line Is It Anyway? (very funny show, by the way). That’s right, the scores mean nothing! What does it matter if the worst scoring people will always return when there’s always a possibility that even the best scoring duo can still get eliminated due a celebrity’s larger initial fan base?
I’m not dropping on American Idol, which is also a popularity contest, but they at least don’t do things to mask that fact. The judges don’t hand out scores, only critiques. The judges on American Idol also have one “save” on the show where they can nullify the elimination if they believe the best person what voted off due to a dip in votes from the audience, like they did a week ago. Plus, one of biggest gripes, is that the more popular celebrities are already coming in with voters just because they are more famous than some of the other contestants. The American Idol contestants are all coming in on even, unknown status and are, hopefully, gaining votes because of their talent and merit with the occasional “vote for the worst just so they suck again next week” votes.
But back to DWTS. The show, itself, is fine. Celebrities dance with professional dancers. Tom Bergeron and Brooke Burke do a mediocre, yet serviceable job of hosting the show. The judges are characters in themselves with the supportive Paula Abdul-type, the scowling Simon Cowell-type, and a clown who knows his stuff. Like all reality shows, there’s those melodramas they play out before each dance is performed. Kate Gosselin is bitching. Pamela Anderson is being slutty. Chad Johnson (I refuse to call him Ochocinco) is trying to woo his dance partner. Blah, blah, blah. The dancing has highs and lows, like any other competition of these types. Kate and Buzz Aldrin were painful to watch. The singer from Pussycat Dolls and the ice skater are, not surprisingly, good. One thing I learned from this show was that Erin Andrews has some wicked long legs. Seriously, I can probably walk underneath them without having to crouch.
And now back to my pain point—the system. They are completely missing the marks here when it comes to the whole elimination portion of the show. Every week’s completion should be scored and I say that the highest scoring celebrity win’s immunity from elimination. That would at least make the scoring portion of the show feel less like a waste of time. Why give out points if they aren’t going to be used for anything? I can see the reason they don’t give out immunities is so that more people will feel inclined to text or call in their votes and thus give them more revenue, but if the number one goal is to milk the text/call money, then why not give yourself more advertising time as well, by saving 10-15 minutes for more advertising space by removing those useless “let’s see your scores” moments. Maybe they can do a reversal on the scoring I mentioned and do something like, the bottom three in scores are the only ones at risk of being eliminated? That would make the results show a lot shorter and maybe fill in a 30 minute episode. That’ll give ABC another 30 minute time slot on Tuesday that they can use to put on another sitcom or a smaller budget game show. I watched one of the results shows and was bored to tears for the entire hour. They have all of the dancers standing in front of the camera and slowly shave away the safe dancers until the last two worst vote getters are left standing. They were able to fluff this into an entire hour by throwing filler like musical guest singers, like Reba McIntyre, or have a guest dance troupe or even make a celebrity do the exact same dance they did the night before because it was “just that good”. Fluff, fluff, dumb fluff.
The Doc would probably like me to end with a complaint about the incredibly revealing outfits some of the female dancers are wearing during their routines. That’s right. Pamela Anderson is not the only one out there that seems like they had a couple turns on the stripper pole. One behind the scenes practice they showed had one of the professional dancers wearing elastic short-shorts and had a battery for her microphone clipped to the back. That battery looked like it was a gram away from being heavy enough to show us her trunk, if you know what I mean. During the performances, the outfits have more cloth, but only the sense that the difference is like between a bikini model and a bikini model wearing a cape. In the end, when they start moving around, it doesn’t make much difference. Sometimes, the only thing that seems to be keeping those dresses on their bodies is modesty or threats from TV censors since I’m pretty sure that anyone willing to be on that show lacks some degree of modesty.
Oh yeah, and one last thing, to whomever is sending those death threats to Erin Andrews, “Really?”
Thursday, April 15, 2010
GO BULLS!!!!
Congrats to the Chicago Bulls for making the 2010 playoffs (8th Seed) after beating the Charlotte Bobcats and ending the season with a 41-41 record (same as last year).
Here's to hoping the series against the Cleveland Cavaliers is just as memorable as last years series against the Boston Celtics!
http://www.bulls.com/
http://www.blogabull.com/
Here's to hoping the series against the Cleveland Cavaliers is just as memorable as last years series against the Boston Celtics!
http://www.bulls.com/
http://www.blogabull.com/
Sunday, April 11, 2010
Sci-Fi Hottie Spotlight: Lexa Doig
What’s this you say? This is where I shine a well-deserved light on some sci-fi hotties that seem to struggle to get into that superstar status that other actresses or characters seem to be given.
As my first SFHS honoree, Lexa Doig’s career has always seemed stunted to me. How can a major hottie like her not be as famous as the likes of Catherine Zeta Jones or Mila Kunis?
What’s her sci-fi track record?
She is a sci-fi hottie veteran! Lexa Doig actually played the Cowgirl (yes, that’s what her character was called) in the William Shatner 1980’s sci-fi made-for-television movies TekWar, which had a sequel and a short-lived television series where Lexa reprised her role as the Cowgirl. Her next noteworthy role was as Rowan, the main character that had to go against an upgraded Jason Voorhees in Jason X. I’m not proud to say it, but I saw that movie by choice. But the main role that initially made me stand up and pay attention to her was as the Andromeda Ascendant in Gene Roddenberry’s Andromeda, which also starred Kevin Sorbo. The cool part about her role on the show was that she basically had to portray 3 different types of Andromeda (the main computer, the holographic assistant, and the android made to look like Andromeda for off-ship missions). At first the all seemed pretty much the same, but later on, they began to look different from one another as well as act a little differently while maintaining the same hotness. The sad part about this was that Andromeda never reached the mega-fame of die-hard fandom like Gene Roddenberry’s other creation, Star Trek, and the show only lasted 6 years. You know it’s a bad sign when the only time to catch new episodes of the show was on WGN in the afternoon, but I loved the show and recommend it to anyone that wants a good sci-fi series. After Andromeda, Lexa Doig has had recurring characters on other sci-fi shows like Stargate SG-1, the 4400, and Eureka. She can currently be seen on the struggling ABC network remake of V, which I don’t see a bright future for it.
"I'm a really big geek. I do dorky things, I snort when I laugh, I'm clumsy, I'm a sucker for RPG games on my computer, I watch cartoons ("Pinky and the Brain" (1995) and "South Park" (1997) are my faves . . . and I have a really bad potty mouth."
What’s her sci-fi track record?
She is a sci-fi hottie veteran! Lexa Doig actually played the Cowgirl (yes, that’s what her character was called) in the William Shatner 1980’s sci-fi made-for-television movies TekWar, which had a sequel and a short-lived television series where Lexa reprised her role as the Cowgirl. Her next noteworthy role was as Rowan, the main character that had to go against an upgraded Jason Voorhees in Jason X. I’m not proud to say it, but I saw that movie by choice. But the main role that initially made me stand up and pay attention to her was as the Andromeda Ascendant in Gene Roddenberry’s Andromeda, which also starred Kevin Sorbo. The cool part about her role on the show was that she basically had to portray 3 different types of Andromeda (the main computer, the holographic assistant, and the android made to look like Andromeda for off-ship missions). At first the all seemed pretty much the same, but later on, they began to look different from one another as well as act a little differently while maintaining the same hotness. The sad part about this was that Andromeda never reached the mega-fame of die-hard fandom like Gene Roddenberry’s other creation, Star Trek, and the show only lasted 6 years. You know it’s a bad sign when the only time to catch new episodes of the show was on WGN in the afternoon, but I loved the show and recommend it to anyone that wants a good sci-fi series. After Andromeda, Lexa Doig has had recurring characters on other sci-fi shows like Stargate SG-1, the 4400, and Eureka. She can currently be seen on the struggling ABC network remake of V, which I don’t see a bright future for it.
If you don’t see why I’m giving her the hottie spotlight or you think she’s just a great looking babe that just happens to be in a lot of sci-fi movies like how some other hotties are in a whole lot of horror movies just to kick start there careers, here’s a quote from her I was able to snag from IMDB.
"I'm a really big geek. I do dorky things, I snort when I laugh, I'm clumsy, I'm a sucker for RPG games on my computer, I watch cartoons ("Pinky and the Brain" (1995) and "South Park" (1997) are my faves . . . and I have a really bad potty mouth." HOTTIE! What guy wouldn’t love to have a self-proclaimed geek that loves to play RPG games on the computer and watch cartoons that looks like her?
Lexa Doig, we salute you!
If I Did Dat… X-Men: The First Class Casting
Ok, I’ve just been around the blogosphere and heard the news that Bryan Singer may not be available to direct the X-Men: The First Class movie because of his obligations in directing a movie called Jack The Giant Killer. Either Jack is going to win him an Oscar or the X-Men movie is not worth it to Mr. Singer. I’m assuming the First Class movie is going to be like the Ultimate series for Marvel (a re-telling of origin stories if they took place today and not in the 1950s or 1970s). This means that the X-Men were only 5 deep in team members and not a cast of hundreds in an entire academy. That could open up the movie to a strong ensemble treatment instead of them focusing their attention on Hugh Jackman’s Wolverine and casting everyone else as a supporting role. Wolverine wasn’t in the First Class, so unless they want to piss up geekdom by destroying canon, they’ll keep him out of it. If anything, this movie would either focus on the five young mutants being trained by Professor X or on the frenemy relationship between Professor X and Magneto.
So that leaves the original five of Cylcops, Jean Grey, Beast, Iceman, and Angel with Professor X. I, for one, believe that limiting the number of heroes can greatly help in these ensemble things. Look at the recent Star Trek movie. They were able to successfully take care of a sizeable cast while giving the right focus to the right characters at the right time. It should be possible with the First Class. Sure, Star Trek focused a lot on Kirk, but all of the others got to have their moments in the spotlight. That’s not the hard part. The hard part is going to be with the cast of villains since they are just as numerous in size but don’t get as much face-time, and shouldn’t since the move is called X-Men: First Class and not The Brotherhood of Evil Mutants: First Class… man, that’s a horrible name for a group.
All of this has made me think who would I cast for this upcoming X-Men movie? They’d all have to be younger (or be able to portray younger) people than in the original movies.
Scott Summers/Cylcops: Matthew Bomer
I’ve only seen one episode of White Collar, but that was more than enough to convince me that Bomer has the chops to play the solemn field leader of this band of mutants. In the early days, Cyclops was the model student who was almost militaristic in the way he handled himself. In other words, he was boring. Sometimes, the only things that could make you feel for the guy was his crush on Jean Grey and the fact that he can’t control his wicked awesome powers of being able to shoot lasers from his eyes (I know they aren’t technically lasers, but saying Optic Blasts didn’t feel right in that sentence). I believe Matthew Bomer can seduce the audience with Cyclops even though the character a virtually dry, no-nonsense type of guy.
Jean Grey: Rachel Nichols
Yeah, I have a thing for Rachel Nichols, which makes sense for me to cast her as Jean Grey, since she’ll also have to convince audiences into why she’s the target of both Cyclops and Wolverine’s affections for so many years. I know she’s not a natural redhead, but she was able to Scarlett in GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra and she was redheaded, green skinned alien in the Star Trek movie and I didn’t mind one bit that she wasn’t a natural. Of course, it helped that she was in her skivvies for portions of each movie.
Hank McCoy/Beast: Karl Urban
Yeah, thanks to Star Trek, I now have a thing for Karl Urban. I loved his Bones in Star Trek, which convinced me that he would be the perfect man to play the intellectual Beast. Kelsey Grammar was my first choice to play Beast when the original movies came out, but it was a shame that he was only brought in for that god-awful Last Stand movie. Karl Urban is young enough to be in this group of young mutants and whether they decide to go with is pre-blue fur phase or his current half-man/half-animal look won’t matter because he can do it.
Bobby Drake/Iceman: Chris Pine
That’s right. I just hit a Star Trek tri-fecta. Chris Pine was Captain Kirk in the Star Trek movie and even though this would be a step down for him since it’s not the leading role, he can’t deny that he would be perfect for the role of the quick-witted, short-tempered, bad boy of the group. You guessed it. He was Wolverine before Wolverine was Wolverine. Maybe if we sold it to him like that, he’d jump at the chance to play the role.
Warren Worthington III/Angel: Justin Hartley
Some of you may not recognize this actor, but he plays Oliver Queen/Green Arrow on the Smallville television show. So he’s pretty much shown me that he can play the rich kid, which Angel was. Come on, even his name sounds loaded: Warren Worthington III.
Professor Charles Xavier: Patrick Stewart
I’ll admit it. This is a total cop out. I scoured the web and couldn’t find anyone better. Yeah, he’s old and *SPOILER ALERT* when they young-ified him for X-Men Origins: Wolverine, he looked creepy. But you can’t find anyone else to play Professor X. Even when I was watching the Star Trek: TNG episodes as they were coming out, I knew he’d be perfect for Prof X. I tried though. I really tried. I almost went with Timothy Olyphant because he was my Lex Luthor choice, but he was too young. I looked around at all of the British actors I could think of, but a lot of them were too dour or frumpy or were a former Doctor Who (and I’ve dipped my pen into that bucket enough, Peter Davison would be a good alternative). Nope, has to be Patrick Stewart. I worry about the age/make-up thing later.
Magneto: Liam Neeson
This was a little easier. Mainly because, even though I liked Ian McKlellen, I thought he looked too old and fragile. He’s more mastermind than evil villain to me. Nope, for this one I wanted either Liam Neeson or Chrisopher Lee. I’m diving into the Jedi\Sith pool for this one. Even though Christopher Lee did a fine job as Count Duku in Attack of the Clones, I can see Liam Neeson be more of the evil villain that can single-handedly take the X-men to their limits. Yes, he’s a little younger than Patrick Stewart, but I couldn’t pass on the idea of the man from Schindler’s List portray an evil mutant born out of the Holocaust.
Toad: Jason Flemyng
Who’s Jason Flemyng? I remember this guy from the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen
with Sean Connery. He played Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Of course, I’m choosing him because of his portrayal of Dr. Jekyll, in case any of you were wondering.
Blob: Dan Castenella
Ok, this one is kind of a joke entry, but it makes you pause. Blob, in my mind, is going to be almost completely CG. So all I really need is a voice and who better than the voice of Homer Simpson? No knock to Kevin Durand, who played Blob in the Wolverine movie, but my image of Blob is someone that could tower over the X-men, both vertically and horizontally.
Scarlet Witch: Emmanuelle Vaugier
I’m going virtual unknown here and with this choice, I’m surprised at how a hottie like her is still unknown. She played Detective Angell on CSI: NY for a year and she was in Two and a Half Men, Smallville, and Human Target for a while as well. Look her up on IMDB. Hottie. Now imagine her in skin-tight red leather. HOTTIE! She may be unknown, but this role will make her a star. Scarlet Witch is Magneto’s daughter. Before she became a hero on the Avengers, she was a card carrying member of the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants (really dumb name). As the token female on the baddie group, she could hold her own with her hexes.
Quicksilver: Eric Johnson
Fatigue has set in and I’ve phoned this one in. I decided on Eric Johnson to play the white-haired speedster because I liked him as Whitney Ford in the first season of Smallville and I think his Flash Gordon television show was a good idea, just poorly executed and sorely missing the soundtrack by Queen. Man, I’ve got to start doing smaller casts.
So that leaves the original five of Cylcops, Jean Grey, Beast, Iceman, and Angel with Professor X. I, for one, believe that limiting the number of heroes can greatly help in these ensemble things. Look at the recent Star Trek movie. They were able to successfully take care of a sizeable cast while giving the right focus to the right characters at the right time. It should be possible with the First Class. Sure, Star Trek focused a lot on Kirk, but all of the others got to have their moments in the spotlight. That’s not the hard part. The hard part is going to be with the cast of villains since they are just as numerous in size but don’t get as much face-time, and shouldn’t since the move is called X-Men: First Class and not The Brotherhood of Evil Mutants: First Class… man, that’s a horrible name for a group.
All of this has made me think who would I cast for this upcoming X-Men movie? They’d all have to be younger (or be able to portray younger) people than in the original movies.
Scott Summers/Cylcops: Matthew Bomer
I’ve only seen one episode of White Collar, but that was more than enough to convince me that Bomer has the chops to play the solemn field leader of this band of mutants. In the early days, Cyclops was the model student who was almost militaristic in the way he handled himself. In other words, he was boring. Sometimes, the only things that could make you feel for the guy was his crush on Jean Grey and the fact that he can’t control his wicked awesome powers of being able to shoot lasers from his eyes (I know they aren’t technically lasers, but saying Optic Blasts didn’t feel right in that sentence). I believe Matthew Bomer can seduce the audience with Cyclops even though the character a virtually dry, no-nonsense type of guy.
Jean Grey: Rachel Nichols
Yeah, I have a thing for Rachel Nichols, which makes sense for me to cast her as Jean Grey, since she’ll also have to convince audiences into why she’s the target of both Cyclops and Wolverine’s affections for so many years. I know she’s not a natural redhead, but she was able to Scarlett in GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra and she was redheaded, green skinned alien in the Star Trek movie and I didn’t mind one bit that she wasn’t a natural. Of course, it helped that she was in her skivvies for portions of each movie.
Hank McCoy/Beast: Karl Urban
Yeah, thanks to Star Trek, I now have a thing for Karl Urban. I loved his Bones in Star Trek, which convinced me that he would be the perfect man to play the intellectual Beast. Kelsey Grammar was my first choice to play Beast when the original movies came out, but it was a shame that he was only brought in for that god-awful Last Stand movie. Karl Urban is young enough to be in this group of young mutants and whether they decide to go with is pre-blue fur phase or his current half-man/half-animal look won’t matter because he can do it.
Bobby Drake/Iceman: Chris Pine
That’s right. I just hit a Star Trek tri-fecta. Chris Pine was Captain Kirk in the Star Trek movie and even though this would be a step down for him since it’s not the leading role, he can’t deny that he would be perfect for the role of the quick-witted, short-tempered, bad boy of the group. You guessed it. He was Wolverine before Wolverine was Wolverine. Maybe if we sold it to him like that, he’d jump at the chance to play the role.
Warren Worthington III/Angel: Justin Hartley
Some of you may not recognize this actor, but he plays Oliver Queen/Green Arrow on the Smallville television show. So he’s pretty much shown me that he can play the rich kid, which Angel was. Come on, even his name sounds loaded: Warren Worthington III.
Professor Charles Xavier: Patrick Stewart
I’ll admit it. This is a total cop out. I scoured the web and couldn’t find anyone better. Yeah, he’s old and *SPOILER ALERT* when they young-ified him for X-Men Origins: Wolverine, he looked creepy. But you can’t find anyone else to play Professor X. Even when I was watching the Star Trek: TNG episodes as they were coming out, I knew he’d be perfect for Prof X. I tried though. I really tried. I almost went with Timothy Olyphant because he was my Lex Luthor choice, but he was too young. I looked around at all of the British actors I could think of, but a lot of them were too dour or frumpy or were a former Doctor Who (and I’ve dipped my pen into that bucket enough, Peter Davison would be a good alternative). Nope, has to be Patrick Stewart. I worry about the age/make-up thing later.
Magneto: Liam Neeson
This was a little easier. Mainly because, even though I liked Ian McKlellen, I thought he looked too old and fragile. He’s more mastermind than evil villain to me. Nope, for this one I wanted either Liam Neeson or Chrisopher Lee. I’m diving into the Jedi\Sith pool for this one. Even though Christopher Lee did a fine job as Count Duku in Attack of the Clones, I can see Liam Neeson be more of the evil villain that can single-handedly take the X-men to their limits. Yes, he’s a little younger than Patrick Stewart, but I couldn’t pass on the idea of the man from Schindler’s List portray an evil mutant born out of the Holocaust.
Toad: Jason Flemyng
Who’s Jason Flemyng? I remember this guy from the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen
with Sean Connery. He played Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Of course, I’m choosing him because of his portrayal of Dr. Jekyll, in case any of you were wondering.Blob: Dan Castenella
Ok, this one is kind of a joke entry, but it makes you pause. Blob, in my mind, is going to be almost completely CG. So all I really need is a voice and who better than the voice of Homer Simpson? No knock to Kevin Durand, who played Blob in the Wolverine movie, but my image of Blob is someone that could tower over the X-men, both vertically and horizontally.
Scarlet Witch: Emmanuelle Vaugier
I’m going virtual unknown here and with this choice, I’m surprised at how a hottie like her is still unknown. She played Detective Angell on CSI: NY for a year and she was in Two and a Half Men, Smallville, and Human Target for a while as well. Look her up on IMDB. Hottie. Now imagine her in skin-tight red leather. HOTTIE! She may be unknown, but this role will make her a star. Scarlet Witch is Magneto’s daughter. Before she became a hero on the Avengers, she was a card carrying member of the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants (really dumb name). As the token female on the baddie group, she could hold her own with her hexes.
Quicksilver: Eric Johnson
Fatigue has set in and I’ve phoned this one in. I decided on Eric Johnson to play the white-haired speedster because I liked him as Whitney Ford in the first season of Smallville and I think his Flash Gordon television show was a good idea, just poorly executed and sorely missing the soundtrack by Queen. Man, I’ve got to start doing smaller casts.
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Man Crush Hall of Shame: Jesse James
You’ve got to be kidding me?! Seriously? Douche bag!
Anyone who has read the last Shame inductee knows the Deuce doesn’t stand for cheaters. The Deuce especially doesn’t stand for men who cheat on good women and then blame it on a sex addiction. You’d have to be a grade F douche bag to cheat on someone like Sandra Bullock, one of the loveliest ladies of Hollywood.
What made him man crush worthy?
Jesse James owned and operated his own custom choppers shop and got to do what he loved (which is apparently not Sandra Bullock). He also had a couple shows on the Discovery Channel a little while back when the whole “choppers on TV thing” was in full blast. So he had fame and fortune. But then he hit the jackpot when he was, somehow, able to woo Sandra Bullock.
When I first heard about this relationship, I thought the dude who told me about it was yanking me because it was a dude that was talking to me about Hollywood gossip. They felt like such an odd couple. She was a becoming one of the true A-listers in tinsel town while he was a glorified grease-monkey.
Reason for shame?
He cheated. No wait, he cheated on Sandra Bullock! I’m now hearing he’s cheated on her with five women (a stripper, a tattoo model, two unknowns, and the chick on the Blink 182 album cover).
When I made the whole Tiger Woods argument, I had no idea who his wife was except for the fact that she was a hottie and she was the mother of their two children. In the case with Jesse James, I have an idea of who Sandra Bullock is and that’s what is making me irate. Elin Woods could be a bitch for all I know, but Sandra Bullock is definitely not. How can you be anything other than a good person if you are able to make an eclectic catalog of movies as The Proposal, Speed, The Blind Side, Demolition Man, Miss Congeniality, Two Weeks Notice, All About Steve, While You Were Sleeping, 28 Days, and Love Potion No. 9?
I’m also hearing and seeing clips of her before she met Jesse James and how she didn’t like the idea of marriage because of the fact that people can be unfaithful. Way to go, Jesse! You’ve scarred her for life… douche bag.
At least she’s strong enough to file for divorce already.
Anyone who has read the last Shame inductee knows the Deuce doesn’t stand for cheaters. The Deuce especially doesn’t stand for men who cheat on good women and then blame it on a sex addiction. You’d have to be a grade F douche bag to cheat on someone like Sandra Bullock, one of the loveliest ladies of Hollywood.
What made him man crush worthy?
Jesse James owned and operated his own custom choppers shop and got to do what he loved (which is apparently not Sandra Bullock). He also had a couple shows on the Discovery Channel a little while back when the whole “choppers on TV thing” was in full blast. So he had fame and fortune. But then he hit the jackpot when he was, somehow, able to woo Sandra Bullock.
When I first heard about this relationship, I thought the dude who told me about it was yanking me because it was a dude that was talking to me about Hollywood gossip. They felt like such an odd couple. She was a becoming one of the true A-listers in tinsel town while he was a glorified grease-monkey.
Reason for shame?
He cheated. No wait, he cheated on Sandra Bullock! I’m now hearing he’s cheated on her with five women (a stripper, a tattoo model, two unknowns, and the chick on the Blink 182 album cover).
When I made the whole Tiger Woods argument, I had no idea who his wife was except for the fact that she was a hottie and she was the mother of their two children. In the case with Jesse James, I have an idea of who Sandra Bullock is and that’s what is making me irate. Elin Woods could be a bitch for all I know, but Sandra Bullock is definitely not. How can you be anything other than a good person if you are able to make an eclectic catalog of movies as The Proposal, Speed, The Blind Side, Demolition Man, Miss Congeniality, Two Weeks Notice, All About Steve, While You Were Sleeping, 28 Days, and Love Potion No. 9?
I’m also hearing and seeing clips of her before she met Jesse James and how she didn’t like the idea of marriage because of the fact that people can be unfaithful. Way to go, Jesse! You’ve scarred her for life… douche bag.
At least she’s strong enough to file for divorce already.
Man Crush of March 2010: Gerard Butler
Runners-Up: Jay Baruchel (How to Train Your Dragon, She’s Out of My League), Robert Downey Jr. (Sherlock Holmes), Nathan Fillion (Castle)
Boy, this month was a toss-up for me, but I had to give props to the man whose movies I’ve actually seen this month. Like always, let’s give a hand to the runners-up.
Jay Baruchel, kudos to you. At the end of the month, you are the lead voice actor in the country’s number one movie and you were also in the lead of a movie where you got to be the dopey guy that lands a hottie (Alice Eve, keep your eyes out for this one). I can see you being the next Michael Cera. Robert Downey Jr., your Golden Globe winning performance is coming out on Blu-ray and it’s definitely going into my collection. Congrats to Nathan Fillion for the cool Tick, Tick, Tick… and Boom episodes of Castle and the news that the show has been renewed for a third season of 22 episodes. It’s great that you are finally in a well-rated show that lasted more than a season. I still weep about Firefly and I don’t count Two Guys and a Girl because that was more a Ryan Reynolds showcase.
Now on to the man on top! Gerard Butler!
Some of you may be asking, “How did he beat Jay Baruchel?” Well, for one, he’s also in How To Train Your Dragon, though not the lead. Secondly, he was in The Bounty Hunter, which is doing better than Jay’s other movie in the box office and Mr. Butler got to kiss Jennifer Aniston (uber-hottie) and slap her on the ass. I can only imagine the number of times he had to re-do that over and over again until they got that right. Third was the fact that I got bum rushed by his movies in Netflix. In consecutive mailings, I got Gamer, followed by Law Abiding Citizen, followed by Did You Hear About the Morgans?… unrelated and a choice for the Doc. But the one thing that set them apart are all the rumors around about him hooking up with Jennifer Aniston while they were making the movie. He said it was just innocent flirting. Even if it was just flirting, the fact that he got to do it with Jennifer Aniston is crush-worthy.
Gamer was created by the same guys that did Crank and Crank 2 so there was a lot of gratuitous action with a flimsy story. Come on, one of the DVD special features was a 30-minute gush-fest over the new hi-tech digital camera they used. I can only truly recommend this movie is you believe the premise can happen in the future, you are an avid Michael C. Hall fan, you love anything that has Ludacris, or you can’t see anything bad about a movie that has a tea bagging in the first five minutes.
Law Abiding Citizen is still sitting on my TV stand because I haven’t had the time to watch it yet since the Doc got me Final Fantasy 13 for my b-day, but it’s definitely a movie I want to watch.
The Bounty Hunter was a so-so movie in my opinion, but it definitely had its funny moments. Yeah, I watched it with the Doc in the theaters. I really wished that in one of his on-screen arguments with Jennifer Aniston’s character, he’d yell out, “This is Sparta!” like he did in 300. I would have given the movie an instant thumbs-up if he did that. I guess my main gripe about the movie was how unbalanced it was. It didn’t seem to know if it wanted to be a situational comedy like Friends or a zany comedy like The Hangover, and you can totally tell when they half-assed on both. The scenes with Jason Sudeikis were funny, though out of place due to the over-the-top SNL-esque of the humor. Gerard Butler definitely came out on top as the funniest in movie.
Then there were all those tabloid rumors about him and Jennifer Aniston. So to say that I’ve been exposed to Gerard Butler in the month of March would be an understatement.
Boy, this month was a toss-up for me, but I had to give props to the man whose movies I’ve actually seen this month. Like always, let’s give a hand to the runners-up.
Jay Baruchel, kudos to you. At the end of the month, you are the lead voice actor in the country’s number one movie and you were also in the lead of a movie where you got to be the dopey guy that lands a hottie (Alice Eve, keep your eyes out for this one). I can see you being the next Michael Cera. Robert Downey Jr., your Golden Globe winning performance is coming out on Blu-ray and it’s definitely going into my collection. Congrats to Nathan Fillion for the cool Tick, Tick, Tick… and Boom episodes of Castle and the news that the show has been renewed for a third season of 22 episodes. It’s great that you are finally in a well-rated show that lasted more than a season. I still weep about Firefly and I don’t count Two Guys and a Girl because that was more a Ryan Reynolds showcase.
Now on to the man on top! Gerard Butler!
Some of you may be asking, “How did he beat Jay Baruchel?” Well, for one, he’s also in How To Train Your Dragon, though not the lead. Secondly, he was in The Bounty Hunter, which is doing better than Jay’s other movie in the box office and Mr. Butler got to kiss Jennifer Aniston (uber-hottie) and slap her on the ass. I can only imagine the number of times he had to re-do that over and over again until they got that right. Third was the fact that I got bum rushed by his movies in Netflix. In consecutive mailings, I got Gamer, followed by Law Abiding Citizen, followed by Did You Hear About the Morgans?… unrelated and a choice for the Doc. But the one thing that set them apart are all the rumors around about him hooking up with Jennifer Aniston while they were making the movie. He said it was just innocent flirting. Even if it was just flirting, the fact that he got to do it with Jennifer Aniston is crush-worthy.
Gamer was created by the same guys that did Crank and Crank 2 so there was a lot of gratuitous action with a flimsy story. Come on, one of the DVD special features was a 30-minute gush-fest over the new hi-tech digital camera they used. I can only truly recommend this movie is you believe the premise can happen in the future, you are an avid Michael C. Hall fan, you love anything that has Ludacris, or you can’t see anything bad about a movie that has a tea bagging in the first five minutes.
Law Abiding Citizen is still sitting on my TV stand because I haven’t had the time to watch it yet since the Doc got me Final Fantasy 13 for my b-day, but it’s definitely a movie I want to watch.
The Bounty Hunter was a so-so movie in my opinion, but it definitely had its funny moments. Yeah, I watched it with the Doc in the theaters. I really wished that in one of his on-screen arguments with Jennifer Aniston’s character, he’d yell out, “This is Sparta!” like he did in 300. I would have given the movie an instant thumbs-up if he did that. I guess my main gripe about the movie was how unbalanced it was. It didn’t seem to know if it wanted to be a situational comedy like Friends or a zany comedy like The Hangover, and you can totally tell when they half-assed on both. The scenes with Jason Sudeikis were funny, though out of place due to the over-the-top SNL-esque of the humor. Gerard Butler definitely came out on top as the funniest in movie.
Then there were all those tabloid rumors about him and Jennifer Aniston. So to say that I’ve been exposed to Gerard Butler in the month of March would be an understatement.
Sunday, March 28, 2010
A Quick Apology
This is me being open. I know that I haven't been the most consistent blogger in the world, but here, I'll make a pledge.
I, the Deuce, will do everything I can to make sure I that I post at least 1 new item on this blog every week (or weekend) unless I am pre-occupied with something more important, like my upcoming wedding/honeymoon. I've been doing this thing where I will type of the posts in Word or Notepad, save them and then just forget to post them online. Thus, there have been a rash of days where I post 3 or 4 entries in a single day. I will make sure that I will post my monthly man crushes on a more timely basis because a lot of people probably stop caring about who I had a crush on the prior month when we are already deep within the current one. I will try to make sure that almost every post I make has some sort of substantive value to it (amount of substance will vary). I will also try to keep the "What I'm Watching" and "What I'm Playing" up-to-date. Although, thanks to these events, I am finding less time blog.
I wish to take this moment to thank my cable company for giving me a weekend of free Showtime. Because of that, the Doc and I spent most of our time indoors watching the entire 4th season of Dexter. Also, my birthday came around recently and the Doc got me Final Fantasy 13,
which is darn near impossible for me to put down. Are these excuses for not blogging? They are to me. Also, for some odd reason, I picked up my old Yu-Gi-Oh Power of Chaos
pc game and started playing that again. Already unlocked all of the cards on the first disc and am now on the Kaiba the Revenge disc. I can't wait until I get to the Joey the Passion disc and get the Dark Magician Girl
card. Not because she's a powerful card. Just always had a fondness for it in a totally non-creepy way.
I, the Deuce, will do everything I can to make sure I that I post at least 1 new item on this blog every week (or weekend) unless I am pre-occupied with something more important, like my upcoming wedding/honeymoon. I've been doing this thing where I will type of the posts in Word or Notepad, save them and then just forget to post them online. Thus, there have been a rash of days where I post 3 or 4 entries in a single day. I will make sure that I will post my monthly man crushes on a more timely basis because a lot of people probably stop caring about who I had a crush on the prior month when we are already deep within the current one. I will try to make sure that almost every post I make has some sort of substantive value to it (amount of substance will vary). I will also try to keep the "What I'm Watching" and "What I'm Playing" up-to-date. Although, thanks to these events, I am finding less time blog.
I wish to take this moment to thank my cable company for giving me a weekend of free Showtime. Because of that, the Doc and I spent most of our time indoors watching the entire 4th season of Dexter. Also, my birthday came around recently and the Doc got me Final Fantasy 13,
which is darn near impossible for me to put down. Are these excuses for not blogging? They are to me. Also, for some odd reason, I picked up my old Yu-Gi-Oh Power of Chaospc game and started playing that again. Already unlocked all of the cards on the first disc and am now on the Kaiba the Revenge disc. I can't wait until I get to the Joey the Passion disc and get the Dark Magician Girlcard. Not because she's a powerful card. Just always had a fondness for it in a totally non-creepy way.
If I Did Dat: Fantastic Four Casting
I’m a fan of the Fantastic Four. I’ve been a fan since I woke up every Saturday morning in 1994 to watch the cartoon on Fox. So it wounded me to see how bad the movie and its sequel were. A lot of it had to do with the piss-poor script and creative licenses the producers seemed to have with canon, but the casting choices were just wrong.
My biggest gripes with the casting choices were who they chose for Dr. Doom and the Invisible Woman.
Julian McMahon is a fine actor and probably did well for what the movies asked of him, but come on, people! Victor Von Doom is not a smarmy New Yorker. He’s a smarmy Eastern European. Dr. Doom is also one of the most feared villains in the Marvel universe and not once did I feel any sense of danger when I saw the movies. Kind of like how the Joker elevated the Dark Knight, Dr. Doom should have elevated the Fantastic Four, but on both attempts, they fell flat.
Jessica Alba is a mega-hottie, but she’s not Sue Storm. It’s very questionable when you have both bleach your hair and put in colored contacts to play a role. I can understand it if you were shooting for an Oscar winner like Sandra Bullock and giving her another Oscar worthy part, but let’s face it, America, we’re not shooting for Oscar gold; we’re aiming for box office gold. Alba hasn’t had a lot of luck being the leading female in a movie (Good Luck Chuck, Love Guru) so she seems to be poisoning her own ability to draw in the crowds. She’s also not the strongest actress on the block. I watched Valentine’s Day with the Doc a couple weeks ago and let’s just say I wasn’t impressed by her performance. I believe her casting in the Fantastic Four was just for eye-candy since the movie seemed to have no idea on how to treat the Invisible Woman.
But enough of my griping, here’s what I would have done.
Reed Richards/Mr. Fantastic: Ewan McGregor
Only at the beginning and already doing something that feels like a stretch. In my head, I wanted someone where if you looked at this group of four, you’d be able to immediately point out that this character was the leader. I didn’t get that Ioan Gruffold. He did a serviceable job in portraying the brainy Reed Richards, but if I had to choose a hero I’d like to have by my side, I want someone a little more… impressive. I wanted a leader and he felt more like another comic relief side-kick. My original thought was to go with David Tennant because I’m a big fan of what he did with Doctor Who and he certainly can portray an elder intellectual who can throw out technical and scientific jargon that’ll make your head spin, but even though he can portray an older man, I can’t get passed the fact that he’s still quite young for my vision of Reed Richards. Plus, I've noticed that this blog is starting to feel like a fansite for him. Let’s call him an investment in case the movie gets postponed 5-10 years. But if the movie had to be made today, I’d have to go with Ewan McGregor. I’m mostly familiar with him through his work on the Star Wars prequels as Obi-Wan Kenobi and he did a great job. I can believe he’s a leader. I can believe he’s smarter than the average bear. I can even believe he can kick my ass if there’s no other choice. Just watch his final dual with Anakin Skywalker or even his fight against General Greivous in Revenge of the Sith
, you'll see what I'm talking about.
Ben Grimm/The Thing (if make-up): Nathan Jones
I thought Michael Chiklis did a fine job as the loveable, blue-eyed Thing. But it never worked for me when he was in that laughable makeup. It was so caked on that and awkward looking that I couldn’t get past the fact that it was a person under there. So why not choose an actor that doesn’t require that much make-up in the first place? I’m not going to go into too much detail about why I chose Nathan Jones if we use make-up. Just watch The Protector or Fearless and you’ll see why he probably won’t need to be as layered in plaster and rubber like Chiklis was. Of course, I'd probably need someone with some more acting chops than just being able to grunt and beat up smaller people... or do I? Well, let's just put man-in-make-up expert Ron Perlman as a backup option since I've been wowed by him in Hellboy 2.
Ben Grimm/The Thing (if cg): Kiefer Sutherland
What if all we needed was a man in the beginning of the movie and then his voice for a CG Thing for the rest of the movie? Well then we’ll need the perfect man to answer the phone. He may not be as physically imposing as Michael Chiklis, but imagine the voice. He’s got that raspy tension in his voice that would make a puppy sound threatening. Plus, one of the main characteristics of the Thing is that he doesn’t want to be the Thing and if he used to look like Kiefer Sutherland, then I’d want to go back to looking like Kiefer Sutherland too.
Johnny Storm/Human Torch: Chris Pine
This was a tough one. Not because I couldn’t think of someone who would be great for the role. It was a tough call on whether I would keep the incumbent Chris Evans in the role or not. Out of the casts of the movies, I thought he was the best fit. Of course, that’s like saying he was the fastest runner in a one-legged race. But I went with Chris Pine instead, because his Captain Kirk in the new Star Trek movie is pretty much what I want in the Human Torch: cocky, quick-witted, charming, and reliable when needed. Also, if I was writing the movie, I’d tone down the jerk-levels they seemed to be focused on cranking up to 11 in the previous films.
PS, Congrats to Chris Evans for landing the role of Captain America. I guess this means that the Fantastic Four are guaranteed to not be in the Avengers movie.
Sue Storm/The Invisible Woman: Kaley Cuoco
Why Kaley Cuoco? Because she can bring the nerds. As the almost unattainable girl-next-door love interest in The Big Bang Theory, she’s made many geeks, nerds, and socially-inept men get down on their knees and thank the Heavens for bringing her to their TV screens almost every week. Is she hotter than Jessica Alba? That’s debatable. Is she a stronger actress than Jessica Alba? I’ve never seen Kaley Cuoco in a role outside of the show’s bubbly yet independent character, so I can’t judge that yet. Will she bring the nerds? Yes, she will. Alba was the comic book geek queen in the last 90s and early 2000s with her starting out in Dark Angel, becoming a bona fide hottie, and then doing a lasso dance in Sin City before taking the reins for Fantasic Four. I can see Kaley Cuoco being the next Jessica Alba. Also, having her being a young actress and Ewan McGregor being an older gentleman fits quite nicely to the age disparity in the actual comics.
Victor von Doom/Dr. Doom: Jude Law
Where does Hollywood go when they need an evil German? England, of course. Dr. Doom isn’t German, but since his country of Latvaria isn’t real either, so I’ll equate it to 1940’s Germany or a former Soviet republic. But it can’t be just any British actor. We’d need someone who can play an egomaniacal narcissist who can actually backup his claims… Jude Law. Another thing about Dr. Doom is that before he had a scarred face, he was quite a looker, which was probably the original reason why Julian McMahon was cast before.
Silver Surfer: Brent Spiner
Here’s another nibble for geek-dom. Silver Surfer is supposed to start out as a cold and almost mechanical being who evolves into a more feeling and moral character. Since I absolutely won’t accept a dude in makeup for this role, we only need a voice and the perfect voice for me is Brett Spiner, who played Data in Star Trek: TNG.
Galactus: Kevin Conroy
Who I really wanted for this role was Tony Jay, who did the voice of Frollo from Disney’s The Hunchback of Notre Dame, but he passed away in 2006 so instead, I’m going to pull a fast one and choose my favorite baritone voice actor, Kevin Conroy, who most famously does the voice of Batman in many of his animated adventures and video games. And if you can imagine a gigantic being that eats planets, of course his voice would be a deep baritone. In the sequel, I felt duped when the only vision of Galactus we got was a mere shadow in swirling clouds. I want Galactus to be a living, breathing character with Kevin Conroy’s voice, even if that means we’ll need to have a scene where he eats a planet like a cheeseburger (I know, he doesn’t eat a planet like that, but who knows what dumb thing Hollywood might try).
Quick Hits: These are characters I can remember from Fantastic Four lore that weren’t in the movies and probably will never be in the movies. Well, except for the Super Skrull. These have to be quick hits because, oh man, there's a lot of them.
Mole-man: Clint Howard, yeah, too easy.
Super Skrull: Nathan Jones, if he isn’t already Ben Grimm. Javier Bardem, which he still creeps me out after I saw No Country For Old Men. I was half-expecting to see him flip a coin in Vicky Christina Barcelona
. If he requests that the Super Skrull flip a coin to choose whether or not to kill someone, I'm willing to listen to his suggestion. That scene still gives me goosebumps.
Puppet Master: John Malcavich, for a lame character with a cool power, I've seen many interpretations on what the Puppet Master looks like. Let's just go with Malcavich on this one.
The Impossible Man: David Tennant, he can easily play a cartoonish, child-friendly character like that.
Franklin Richards (child): unknown child actor
Franklin Richards (adult): Justin Hartley… kind of looks like the love child of Ewan McGregor and Kaley Cuoco.
Valeria Richards (child): unknown child actor.
Valeria Richards (adult): Lauren C. Mayhew. I'm not familiar with her skills, but I really doubt anyone would put this character in the movie.
Lyja: Gemma Arterton, don’t recognize the name? She was Strawberry Fields in Quantum of Solace
(the chick that got covered in motor oil) and she’s going to be in the upcoming Prince of Persia movie. I can imagine her in green body paint and a skin tight outfit.
Alicia Masters: Jayma Mays, I've been a sucker for as the damsel-in-distress since the first season of Heroes when Hiro couldn't save her.
Namor: Michael Phelps, who else would you choose to play a dark haired Aquaman rip-off?
Agatha Harkness: Jane Lynch. I wanted to go with the Supernanny on this, but decided against it. Did I make the right Decision?
See what I mean? And I barely scratched the surface.
My biggest gripes with the casting choices were who they chose for Dr. Doom and the Invisible Woman.
Julian McMahon is a fine actor and probably did well for what the movies asked of him, but come on, people! Victor Von Doom is not a smarmy New Yorker. He’s a smarmy Eastern European. Dr. Doom is also one of the most feared villains in the Marvel universe and not once did I feel any sense of danger when I saw the movies. Kind of like how the Joker elevated the Dark Knight, Dr. Doom should have elevated the Fantastic Four, but on both attempts, they fell flat.
Jessica Alba is a mega-hottie, but she’s not Sue Storm. It’s very questionable when you have both bleach your hair and put in colored contacts to play a role. I can understand it if you were shooting for an Oscar winner like Sandra Bullock and giving her another Oscar worthy part, but let’s face it, America, we’re not shooting for Oscar gold; we’re aiming for box office gold. Alba hasn’t had a lot of luck being the leading female in a movie (Good Luck Chuck, Love Guru) so she seems to be poisoning her own ability to draw in the crowds. She’s also not the strongest actress on the block. I watched Valentine’s Day with the Doc a couple weeks ago and let’s just say I wasn’t impressed by her performance. I believe her casting in the Fantastic Four was just for eye-candy since the movie seemed to have no idea on how to treat the Invisible Woman.
But enough of my griping, here’s what I would have done.
Reed Richards/Mr. Fantastic: Ewan McGregor
Only at the beginning and already doing something that feels like a stretch. In my head, I wanted someone where if you looked at this group of four, you’d be able to immediately point out that this character was the leader. I didn’t get that Ioan Gruffold. He did a serviceable job in portraying the brainy Reed Richards, but if I had to choose a hero I’d like to have by my side, I want someone a little more… impressive. I wanted a leader and he felt more like another comic relief side-kick. My original thought was to go with David Tennant because I’m a big fan of what he did with Doctor Who and he certainly can portray an elder intellectual who can throw out technical and scientific jargon that’ll make your head spin, but even though he can portray an older man, I can’t get passed the fact that he’s still quite young for my vision of Reed Richards. Plus, I've noticed that this blog is starting to feel like a fansite for him. Let’s call him an investment in case the movie gets postponed 5-10 years. But if the movie had to be made today, I’d have to go with Ewan McGregor. I’m mostly familiar with him through his work on the Star Wars prequels as Obi-Wan Kenobi and he did a great job. I can believe he’s a leader. I can believe he’s smarter than the average bear. I can even believe he can kick my ass if there’s no other choice. Just watch his final dual with Anakin Skywalker or even his fight against General Greivous in Revenge of the Sith
, you'll see what I'm talking about.Ben Grimm/The Thing (if make-up): Nathan Jones
I thought Michael Chiklis did a fine job as the loveable, blue-eyed Thing. But it never worked for me when he was in that laughable makeup. It was so caked on that and awkward looking that I couldn’t get past the fact that it was a person under there. So why not choose an actor that doesn’t require that much make-up in the first place? I’m not going to go into too much detail about why I chose Nathan Jones if we use make-up. Just watch The Protector or Fearless and you’ll see why he probably won’t need to be as layered in plaster and rubber like Chiklis was. Of course, I'd probably need someone with some more acting chops than just being able to grunt and beat up smaller people... or do I? Well, let's just put man-in-make-up expert Ron Perlman as a backup option since I've been wowed by him in Hellboy 2.
Ben Grimm/The Thing (if cg): Kiefer Sutherland
What if all we needed was a man in the beginning of the movie and then his voice for a CG Thing for the rest of the movie? Well then we’ll need the perfect man to answer the phone. He may not be as physically imposing as Michael Chiklis, but imagine the voice. He’s got that raspy tension in his voice that would make a puppy sound threatening. Plus, one of the main characteristics of the Thing is that he doesn’t want to be the Thing and if he used to look like Kiefer Sutherland, then I’d want to go back to looking like Kiefer Sutherland too.
Johnny Storm/Human Torch: Chris Pine
This was a tough one. Not because I couldn’t think of someone who would be great for the role. It was a tough call on whether I would keep the incumbent Chris Evans in the role or not. Out of the casts of the movies, I thought he was the best fit. Of course, that’s like saying he was the fastest runner in a one-legged race. But I went with Chris Pine instead, because his Captain Kirk in the new Star Trek movie is pretty much what I want in the Human Torch: cocky, quick-witted, charming, and reliable when needed. Also, if I was writing the movie, I’d tone down the jerk-levels they seemed to be focused on cranking up to 11 in the previous films.
PS, Congrats to Chris Evans for landing the role of Captain America. I guess this means that the Fantastic Four are guaranteed to not be in the Avengers movie.
Sue Storm/The Invisible Woman: Kaley Cuoco
Why Kaley Cuoco? Because she can bring the nerds. As the almost unattainable girl-next-door love interest in The Big Bang Theory, she’s made many geeks, nerds, and socially-inept men get down on their knees and thank the Heavens for bringing her to their TV screens almost every week. Is she hotter than Jessica Alba? That’s debatable. Is she a stronger actress than Jessica Alba? I’ve never seen Kaley Cuoco in a role outside of the show’s bubbly yet independent character, so I can’t judge that yet. Will she bring the nerds? Yes, she will. Alba was the comic book geek queen in the last 90s and early 2000s with her starting out in Dark Angel, becoming a bona fide hottie, and then doing a lasso dance in Sin City before taking the reins for Fantasic Four. I can see Kaley Cuoco being the next Jessica Alba. Also, having her being a young actress and Ewan McGregor being an older gentleman fits quite nicely to the age disparity in the actual comics.
Victor von Doom/Dr. Doom: Jude Law
Where does Hollywood go when they need an evil German? England, of course. Dr. Doom isn’t German, but since his country of Latvaria isn’t real either, so I’ll equate it to 1940’s Germany or a former Soviet republic. But it can’t be just any British actor. We’d need someone who can play an egomaniacal narcissist who can actually backup his claims… Jude Law. Another thing about Dr. Doom is that before he had a scarred face, he was quite a looker, which was probably the original reason why Julian McMahon was cast before.
Silver Surfer: Brent Spiner
Here’s another nibble for geek-dom. Silver Surfer is supposed to start out as a cold and almost mechanical being who evolves into a more feeling and moral character. Since I absolutely won’t accept a dude in makeup for this role, we only need a voice and the perfect voice for me is Brett Spiner, who played Data in Star Trek: TNG.
Galactus: Kevin Conroy
Who I really wanted for this role was Tony Jay, who did the voice of Frollo from Disney’s The Hunchback of Notre Dame, but he passed away in 2006 so instead, I’m going to pull a fast one and choose my favorite baritone voice actor, Kevin Conroy, who most famously does the voice of Batman in many of his animated adventures and video games. And if you can imagine a gigantic being that eats planets, of course his voice would be a deep baritone. In the sequel, I felt duped when the only vision of Galactus we got was a mere shadow in swirling clouds. I want Galactus to be a living, breathing character with Kevin Conroy’s voice, even if that means we’ll need to have a scene where he eats a planet like a cheeseburger (I know, he doesn’t eat a planet like that, but who knows what dumb thing Hollywood might try).
Quick Hits: These are characters I can remember from Fantastic Four lore that weren’t in the movies and probably will never be in the movies. Well, except for the Super Skrull. These have to be quick hits because, oh man, there's a lot of them.
Mole-man: Clint Howard, yeah, too easy.
Super Skrull: Nathan Jones, if he isn’t already Ben Grimm. Javier Bardem, which he still creeps me out after I saw No Country For Old Men. I was half-expecting to see him flip a coin in Vicky Christina Barcelona
. If he requests that the Super Skrull flip a coin to choose whether or not to kill someone, I'm willing to listen to his suggestion. That scene still gives me goosebumps.Puppet Master: John Malcavich, for a lame character with a cool power, I've seen many interpretations on what the Puppet Master looks like. Let's just go with Malcavich on this one.
The Impossible Man: David Tennant, he can easily play a cartoonish, child-friendly character like that.
Franklin Richards (child): unknown child actor
Franklin Richards (adult): Justin Hartley… kind of looks like the love child of Ewan McGregor and Kaley Cuoco.
Valeria Richards (child): unknown child actor.
Valeria Richards (adult): Lauren C. Mayhew. I'm not familiar with her skills, but I really doubt anyone would put this character in the movie.
Lyja: Gemma Arterton, don’t recognize the name? She was Strawberry Fields in Quantum of Solace
(the chick that got covered in motor oil) and she’s going to be in the upcoming Prince of Persia movie. I can imagine her in green body paint and a skin tight outfit.Alicia Masters: Jayma Mays, I've been a sucker for as the damsel-in-distress since the first season of Heroes when Hiro couldn't save her.
Namor: Michael Phelps, who else would you choose to play a dark haired Aquaman rip-off?
Agatha Harkness: Jane Lynch. I wanted to go with the Supernanny on this, but decided against it. Did I make the right Decision?
See what I mean? And I barely scratched the surface.
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Man Crush of February 2010: Sam Smith (Chicago Bulls Columnist)
Runners-up: Robert Downey Jr. (Iron-Man 2), Alec Baldwin (30 Rock), Michael Shanks (Smallville), Eric Dane and Patrick Dempsey (Valentine’s Day)
In a month where love is in the air, an entertainment depression hits you because there’s almost nothing new on television due to the Winter Olympics and box office has stopped catering to my demographic until the summer months come around. But even though the month is both slow and short, there were plenty of diamonds in the ruff to keep my interest peaked and in fact, made for a lot of runners-up.
With Sherlock Holmes checked off on my list of Robert Downey Jr. films I want to see, my attentions were now focused on the summer flick of Iron-Man 2, which looks like it’s going to be a really fun movie to watch. Alec Baldwin has been stellar on 30 Rock and thanks to the magic of DVR, I’ve been able to watch every episode through Anna Howard Shaw Day. Plus, I watched It’s Complicated and he was hilarious in that film. Michael Shanks played Hawkman in the Smallville TV-movie Absolute Justice, but he also gains man-crush-worthiness from his roles in Stargate SG-1 and my fave show Burn Notice. Lastly, Eric Dane and Patrick Dempsey get a nod for the fact that I enjoyed the Valentine’s Day movie and Grey’s Anatomy hasn’t been disappointing this month.
I’m a Chicago Bulls fan, no secret there, so I had to throw in a celebratory high-five to Sam Smith, the Bulls reporter who does game-by-game blog recaps, has a weekly “column” on the bulls.com website, does an around-the-league video report, and has the daunting task of answering mail, because the Bulls are on a hot streak and have take a strong foothold into being able to get into the playoffs this year. So why Sam Smith instead of someone like star point guard Derrick Rose or fan-favorite Joakim Noah? It’s because I haven’t watched an entire game live on television at all this season and the only writer that’s been able to hit all of the notes I care about in a game is Sam Smith.
In all honesty, I’ve never heard of him until sometime late last year. Sorry, Sam. But that was because I was stuck in a rut of getting my sports news fix from ESPN and CNN. Well, my work decided to ding me for using the external Internet too much because ESPN went pop-up crazy on me a couple times so that cut ESPN. CNN’s SI was okay, like a crutch is okay if I break my leg, but I don’t want to be stuck using it for the rest of my life. CNN has some great b-ball writers, like Chris Mannix and Ian Thompsen, but there are only so many times I can read a column about Lebron James or Kobe Bryant. I’m a Bulls fan. I wanted Bulls material. Thankfully, CNN had a section specific to news by team, so I clicked on Bulls and, not surprisingly, there was a lot of stuff from the Chicago Sun Times or the Chicago Herald, but then I saw it: blogabull.com. I had no idea that there were official blog sites dedicated to a specific team. Well, I knew there was, but I didn’t realize they were so well done. Well from there, I saw some fan posts and fan shots referencing a writer named Sam Smith and through a link on blogabull.com, I found bulls.com and Sam Smith.
At first, I only read his blog entries for the game-to-game recaps of the Bulls games. Then I got sucked into his weekly column about the NBA and any Bulls related news. Then I started reading his weekly mailbag and loved his comical/sensible replies to not just Bulls fans, but basketball fans. Now I’m watching his weekly streamed videos and check the website about 4-5 times a day at work just to see if there’s anything new in his blog (he also does some blogs about whatever strikes his interest with the team or in the NBA in general). Heck, thanks to Sam Smith, I’m also watching the website’s quick game video recap done by Chuck Swirsky.
There’s also the bonus factor of him having and loving a career that almost all men wish they could have: sports writer. What guy wouldn’t love to be able to get paid to watch a game and then have other people read their opinions on the game? Sure, he’s focused on the Bulls and stretches out into the entire NBA, but if you love a team, you wouldn’t mind focusing on reporting on them.
It’s also been an unusually tough month for the Deuce professionally (work sucks) and personally (car got towed along with other things that kept the blood pumping with fear or rage). I have two people I can credit for keeping me going through this month. First, the Doc, who always provided a shoulder I can lean on. Second, Sam Smith, for giving me a couple minutes every now and then where I can escape from the hectic hullabaloo around me. You, sir, are a godsend. Oh, and “Go Bulls!”
In a month where love is in the air, an entertainment depression hits you because there’s almost nothing new on television due to the Winter Olympics and box office has stopped catering to my demographic until the summer months come around. But even though the month is both slow and short, there were plenty of diamonds in the ruff to keep my interest peaked and in fact, made for a lot of runners-up.
With Sherlock Holmes checked off on my list of Robert Downey Jr. films I want to see, my attentions were now focused on the summer flick of Iron-Man 2, which looks like it’s going to be a really fun movie to watch. Alec Baldwin has been stellar on 30 Rock and thanks to the magic of DVR, I’ve been able to watch every episode through Anna Howard Shaw Day. Plus, I watched It’s Complicated and he was hilarious in that film. Michael Shanks played Hawkman in the Smallville TV-movie Absolute Justice, but he also gains man-crush-worthiness from his roles in Stargate SG-1 and my fave show Burn Notice. Lastly, Eric Dane and Patrick Dempsey get a nod for the fact that I enjoyed the Valentine’s Day movie and Grey’s Anatomy hasn’t been disappointing this month.
I’m a Chicago Bulls fan, no secret there, so I had to throw in a celebratory high-five to Sam Smith, the Bulls reporter who does game-by-game blog recaps, has a weekly “column” on the bulls.com website, does an around-the-league video report, and has the daunting task of answering mail, because the Bulls are on a hot streak and have take a strong foothold into being able to get into the playoffs this year. So why Sam Smith instead of someone like star point guard Derrick Rose or fan-favorite Joakim Noah? It’s because I haven’t watched an entire game live on television at all this season and the only writer that’s been able to hit all of the notes I care about in a game is Sam Smith.
In all honesty, I’ve never heard of him until sometime late last year. Sorry, Sam. But that was because I was stuck in a rut of getting my sports news fix from ESPN and CNN. Well, my work decided to ding me for using the external Internet too much because ESPN went pop-up crazy on me a couple times so that cut ESPN. CNN’s SI was okay, like a crutch is okay if I break my leg, but I don’t want to be stuck using it for the rest of my life. CNN has some great b-ball writers, like Chris Mannix and Ian Thompsen, but there are only so many times I can read a column about Lebron James or Kobe Bryant. I’m a Bulls fan. I wanted Bulls material. Thankfully, CNN had a section specific to news by team, so I clicked on Bulls and, not surprisingly, there was a lot of stuff from the Chicago Sun Times or the Chicago Herald, but then I saw it: blogabull.com. I had no idea that there were official blog sites dedicated to a specific team. Well, I knew there was, but I didn’t realize they were so well done. Well from there, I saw some fan posts and fan shots referencing a writer named Sam Smith and through a link on blogabull.com, I found bulls.com and Sam Smith.
At first, I only read his blog entries for the game-to-game recaps of the Bulls games. Then I got sucked into his weekly column about the NBA and any Bulls related news. Then I started reading his weekly mailbag and loved his comical/sensible replies to not just Bulls fans, but basketball fans. Now I’m watching his weekly streamed videos and check the website about 4-5 times a day at work just to see if there’s anything new in his blog (he also does some blogs about whatever strikes his interest with the team or in the NBA in general). Heck, thanks to Sam Smith, I’m also watching the website’s quick game video recap done by Chuck Swirsky.
There’s also the bonus factor of him having and loving a career that almost all men wish they could have: sports writer. What guy wouldn’t love to be able to get paid to watch a game and then have other people read their opinions on the game? Sure, he’s focused on the Bulls and stretches out into the entire NBA, but if you love a team, you wouldn’t mind focusing on reporting on them.
It’s also been an unusually tough month for the Deuce professionally (work sucks) and personally (car got towed along with other things that kept the blood pumping with fear or rage). I have two people I can credit for keeping me going through this month. First, the Doc, who always provided a shoulder I can lean on. Second, Sam Smith, for giving me a couple minutes every now and then where I can escape from the hectic hullabaloo around me. You, sir, are a godsend. Oh, and “Go Bulls!”
Video Game Review: Marvel Vs Capcom 2 (PSN)
For the entire month of February, work has sucked. Sure, I’m glad that I still have a job with the way the economy has been brutalized for the past couple of years, but surely there’s a limit to how much of a pounding a corporation can lay into an employee. I can’t complain to the folks because they’ll give you the old “Well, in my day” spiel. I can’t complain to the Doc because she’s witnessed months where my job has been cake while hers has been a more consistent pain in the backside. So what do I do for an outlet? Why, I throw down in fisticuffs with Spiderman, a mummy, and a giant Mexican cactus.
Confused?
I just described a 3-man team I faced off against in Marvel Vs Capcom 2, which I purchased through the Playstation Network when it was on sale for 50% off (paid $7.49, regular price $14.99). It was a close fight as I had never played with my combination of characters at the time (Cyclops from the X-Men, Megaman, and a cat-girl) but I was able to pull off a wicked super combo type move and basically blasted the cactus back to Mexico.
Down to its core, this game is a 2-D fighter, like Street Fighter or the King of Fighters games, and because this game is basically a port of the arcade game that debuted around 2000, the graphics are mind blowing to today’s standards. But they get the job done. The backgrounds are cool moving 3-D scenes and even though the fighters are in 2-D, their special attacks and movements are not hurt by the graphical limitations. Since the game was created in 2000, when widescreen TVs weren’t as common as they are today, the game does give you the option to put of letter boxes on of the sides to make the screen square or you can have the boxes removed and play the game in widescreen glory. The only drawback I saw with going to widescreen is that some of the graphics get cut off, or more likely, just start to pop in where the squared screen would have started. Minor visual mistake at worst.
In my opinion, the graphics are not its strong-point, but that’s like saying Mickey Mantle isn’t the greatest baseball player ever (probably true, but not a bad player to have anyway). The strong point for this game is its character roster of 56 playable fighters. That’s right, 56! Sure, Tekken 6 came out a while ago and boasts a roster that could fill a football stadium, getting 56 characters in a downloadable game is just incredible. And unlike the Tekken 6 roster, most of the characters in MvsC2 are recognizable due to affiliations outside of the game, like Wolverine, Ironman, or the Hulk. The Marvel side is filled with the A-list of favorites. The Capcom side is a little bit of a head scratcher to me, maybe because I don’t play enough Capcom games outside of Street Fighter, but it was cool to see characters outside of Street Fighter be included like Jill Valentine from Resident Evil.
I heard there was a story about how the two universes got mashed together, but I’ve been spending so much time in the 3 vs. 3 battles and seeing what kinds of super combos I can get, I haven’t done much searching for that.
A cool aspect of the game is the online multiplayer, which I basically get spanked at and thrown to the curb, but it’s entertaining to see how well I can fare. I can beat a 40-year-old man, but I’m embarrassed and sent home crying by a 12-year-old girl scout. There is no way I can truly tell who I’m playing, but if they have the headsets, I can I hear them talk and that’s what I gather for what I heard.
This game is fun and easy to just pick up the controller and start mashing buttons. At the price I got it, definitely worth it. Might be a little questionable for $15, but you could do far worse.
Overall: BUY IT
Confused?
I just described a 3-man team I faced off against in Marvel Vs Capcom 2, which I purchased through the Playstation Network when it was on sale for 50% off (paid $7.49, regular price $14.99). It was a close fight as I had never played with my combination of characters at the time (Cyclops from the X-Men, Megaman, and a cat-girl) but I was able to pull off a wicked super combo type move and basically blasted the cactus back to Mexico.
Down to its core, this game is a 2-D fighter, like Street Fighter or the King of Fighters games, and because this game is basically a port of the arcade game that debuted around 2000, the graphics are mind blowing to today’s standards. But they get the job done. The backgrounds are cool moving 3-D scenes and even though the fighters are in 2-D, their special attacks and movements are not hurt by the graphical limitations. Since the game was created in 2000, when widescreen TVs weren’t as common as they are today, the game does give you the option to put of letter boxes on of the sides to make the screen square or you can have the boxes removed and play the game in widescreen glory. The only drawback I saw with going to widescreen is that some of the graphics get cut off, or more likely, just start to pop in where the squared screen would have started. Minor visual mistake at worst.
In my opinion, the graphics are not its strong-point, but that’s like saying Mickey Mantle isn’t the greatest baseball player ever (probably true, but not a bad player to have anyway). The strong point for this game is its character roster of 56 playable fighters. That’s right, 56! Sure, Tekken 6 came out a while ago and boasts a roster that could fill a football stadium, getting 56 characters in a downloadable game is just incredible. And unlike the Tekken 6 roster, most of the characters in MvsC2 are recognizable due to affiliations outside of the game, like Wolverine, Ironman, or the Hulk. The Marvel side is filled with the A-list of favorites. The Capcom side is a little bit of a head scratcher to me, maybe because I don’t play enough Capcom games outside of Street Fighter, but it was cool to see characters outside of Street Fighter be included like Jill Valentine from Resident Evil.
I heard there was a story about how the two universes got mashed together, but I’ve been spending so much time in the 3 vs. 3 battles and seeing what kinds of super combos I can get, I haven’t done much searching for that.
A cool aspect of the game is the online multiplayer, which I basically get spanked at and thrown to the curb, but it’s entertaining to see how well I can fare. I can beat a 40-year-old man, but I’m embarrassed and sent home crying by a 12-year-old girl scout. There is no way I can truly tell who I’m playing, but if they have the headsets, I can I hear them talk and that’s what I gather for what I heard.
This game is fun and easy to just pick up the controller and start mashing buttons. At the price I got it, definitely worth it. Might be a little questionable for $15, but you could do far worse.
Overall: BUY IT
Oscar 2010 Review
Well, America, the Oscars came and went with some upsets (still not sure how an award for achievement can have upsets as if it were a boxing match) and some well deserved praise. I caught most of the beginning, including some of the red carpet, but then decided to change the channel and watch something else on the DVR with the Doc.
I heard rumors that Kathy Ireland was drunk during her stint on the red carpet. I didn't see that. Of course, I only caught the tail end of the entire thing and was more focused on the people being interviewed than the interviewers. I was a little miffed that they still ask "Who are you wearing?" as if that was what I cared about. What ever happened to, "Who are your favorites to win?" or "What projects do you have coming up?" I would have also accepted, "What was it like making [INSERT MOVIE]?" Also, Jeff Bridges looked as high as the Dude (The Big Lebowski) with the wicked beard.
Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin did a great job hosting. After the okay opening by Neil Patrick Harris, their monologue (can you call it a monologue with 2 people?) was hilarious. High point was when they made fun of George Clooney. Low point, so I heard, was the omission of Farah Fawcett from a slide show of the people who died this year. An even lower point is that people seem to have forgotten that Bea Arthur wasn't in there either. Maybe the people in the slide show are only for those that were in movies. I only remember those 2 from TV.
Here's the rundown and my colorful commentary from the awards that don't matter to the awards that I should care about more except for that fact that I don't.
Sound Editing
Avatar
The Hurt Locker
[WINNER]
Inglourious Basterds
Star Trek
Up
My initial instinct was that Avatar was going to win this, hands down. Then I saw that the Hurt Locker won... WTF? If I actually cared about awards like this one, I might make a big stink about it. I'm assuming the "editing" portion means that the sounds don't overlap or run over in scenes. Like you hear an explosion and the boom is still running through the movie after a scene cut. Maybe the judges saw that some of the tree branches in Avatar that didn't rustle enough in their opinions.
Sound Mixing
Avatar
The Hurt Locker [WINNER]
Inglourious Basterds
Star Trek
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen
Last year, the winner was The Dark Knight and I could understand it because they made all of the sounds far crisper and bigger than they probably would have been in real life. So how in the world did Hurt Locker beat Avatar? This was definitely a head scratcher. Maybe the judges were impressed by how crisp the sound of the soldier cutting wires? Maybe the judges went into sensory overload after watching Avatar? Maybe the judges were impressed by the sounds of footsteps in the Hurt Locker? Maybe the judges thought that the Na'vi should all sound like ET and not like Uhura from Star Trek or CCH Pounder.
But Kudos to the Academy for nominating Star Trek twice for sounds.
Visual Effects
Avatar [WINNER]
District 9
Star Trek
Ok, this one I was willing to accept any of the three nominees (why only 3?) as the winner. Distinct 9 impressed me with the aliens and the weaponry. Sure it's not as great as the other 2, but definitely impressive. Star Trek was incredible. The space battles were fantastic. Avatar, deservedly so, won because I almost went into a diabetic coma with all of the sweet visuals. I used to watch movies and think, "I could have designed something better." Then I watched Transformers and realized I'm not detail-oriented enough. Then I watched Avatar and hung up whatever hopes and chances I thought I had. You win this round, Cameron.
Makeup
Il Divo
Star Trek [WINNER]
The Young Victoria
Hurray, Star Trek! You beat two movies I've either never heard of and never want to watch. I guess Vulcan ears and turning Eric Bana into a Kiebler Elf was enough for Star Trek to pull in this victory for nerd-kind.
Music (Original Score)
Avatar
Fantastic Mr. Fox
The Hurt Locker
Sherlock Holmes
Up [WINNER]
This was a shocker to me in a good way. First off, I wasn't even aware that The Hurt Locker had music in it. Sherlock Holmes, although I loved the movie, had an aggravatingly twangy violin score that often slapped me across the face to pull me out of the movie. Fantastic Mr. Fox... never watched it. I thought Avatar was going to win it because I thought all of the scenes were enriched by the musical score, but apparently the Academy continued its "FU Cameron" by giving the award to Up. Loved the musical score in Up. Definitely enriched the dialogue-less beginning that made me weep like baby.
Music (Original Song)
"Almost There" from "The Princess and the Frog"
"Down in New Orleans" from "The Princess and the Frog"
"Loin de Paname" from "Paris 36"
"Take it All" from "Nine
"
"The Weary Kind (Theme from "Crazy Heart") from "Crazy Heart" [WINNER]
First off, this felt like a really weak group of nominees. Remember when you couldn't get that Celine Dion song from Titantic out of your head? Remember when the Aladin song was playing on the radio 24/7? None of these songs did that and it felt like a real stretch when they pulled songs from Paris 36 and Nine and had to dip twice into the Disney bucket. I've never heard of any of these songs but knew that Crazy Heart was going to win it because of all the critical acclaimation it got. I just didn't know it was being sung by Colin Farrell. That was a surprise.
Short Film, Live Action
The Door
Instead of Abracadabra
Kavi
Miracle Fish
The New Tenants [WINNER]
Never heard or watched any of these movies. Can't believe they wasted air-time on short film categories. I don't know a single person that has gone up to me and said, "Hey, you want to go watch a short film?" Where do they even show these films? So I'll make up my own ideas on what these movies are about. The Door is a horror movie about a door being delivered to a home only to find out that it's too big so the people who bought it decide to cut it down to make it fit. Instead of Abracadabra is sad tale about, what else, dead rabbits. Kavi is about the cousins of the Na'vi in Avatar and we learn why Sigourney Weaver decided to just ignore them. Miracle Fish is about the 1972 Miami Dolphins and ends with (SPOILER ALERT) a message to Tom Brady telling him to, "Suck it." The winner, The New Tenants, is just 15 minutes of topless women jumping up and down in front of the camera. Yeah, I would have voted for that one too.
Short Film, Animated
French Toast
Granny O'Grimm's Sleeping Beauty
The Lady and the Reaper
Logorama [WINNER]
A Matter of Loaf and Death
Another short film category? And what's the deal with the bread? Two of the nominated short films here have something to do with bread in their titles. I probably would have voted for Logorama on the sheer fact that the title makes me think it's about doody.... wait a minute... is it Log-orama or Logo-rama? Forget it. I'll just vote for The Lady and the Reaper because it sounds like a funny sequel to Lady and the Tramp.
Documentary Short
China's Unnatural Disaster: The Tears of Sichuan Province
The Last Campaign of Governor Booth Gardner
The Last Truck: Closing of a GM Plant
Music by Prudence [WINNER]
Rabbit à la Berlin
Heard some crazy lady took the mic from the director/producer and started rambling about whatever it is that crazy people rant about. Didn't see it live. Would have been funnier if George Clooney did that Jeff Bridges.
Best Documentary Feature
Burma VJ
The Cove [WINNER]
Food, Inc.
The Most Dangerous Man in America: Daniel Ellsberg and the Pentagon Papers
Which Way Home
Huh, no Michael Moore movie this year? Oh well, I just sing to fill in some empty space.
*Ahem*
It's Peanut Butter Jelly Time! Peanut Butter Jelly Time! Peanut Butter Jelly Time! Peanut Butter Jelly Time! Peanut Butter Jelly! Peanut Butter Jelly! Peanut Butter Jelly with a baseball bat! Peanut Butter Jelly! Peanut Butter Jelly! Peanut Butter Jelly with a baseball bat!
Costume Design
Bright Star
Coco Before Chanel
The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus
Nine
The Young Victoria [WINNER]
Oh, a movie based in Victorian England wins the award for best costume design? Oh, how original! Since I actually haven't watched any of these 5 nominees, I just don't care.
Cinematography
Avatar[WINNER]
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
The Hurt Locker
Inglourious Basterds
The White Ribbon
Really? Harry Potter was nominated? And what's The White Ribbon? If I knew what "cinematography" is, I'm sure I'd be pissed. At least Avatar is going home with some hardware (along with billions of dollars from ticket sales).
Best Film Editing
Avatar
District 9
The Hurt Locker [WINNER]
Inglourious Basterds
Precious
Not sure what the difference is between film editing and directing. Unless the film editing is all about the scene transitions. I'm a personal fan of the Star Wars movies and their use of every possible PowerPoint slide transition known to man for their scene transitions.
Art Direction
Avatar
[WINNER]
The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus
Nine
Sherlock Holmes
The Young Victoria
You bet your ass Avatar won this one. That's another win for Avatar in a category that no one cares about. When are we getting to awards that will actually be talked about the next morning?
Best Foreign-Language Film
Ajami
El Secreto de Sus Ojos [WINNER]
The Milk of Sorrow
Un Prophète
The White Ribbon
Oh, so the White Ribbon was a foreign film... my money is that it's a pretencious French film that's actually about a ribbon, like that Red Balloon flick I see a lot of spoofs about. Ajami is probably about pajamas. El Secreto de Sus Ojos is probably a reenactment of the OJ Simpson murders. The Milk of Sorrow is what I used to see a lot of before I met the Doc, so I expect to see some royalty checks coming my way. Un Prophete is probably the tale of the worlds one true prophet: Slartibartfast.
Adapted Screenplay
District 9
An Education
In the Loop
Precious [WINNER]
Up in the Air
District 9 was a book? That was surprising.
Original Screenplay
The Hurt Locker [WINNER]
Inglourious Basterds
The Messenger
A Serious Man
Up
Now the Oscars are just yanking me around. How did the Hurt Locker beat Inglorious Basterds? I'm surprised Quentin Tarantino didn't jump on stage and shove his fist down Oscar's throat. I'm not a huge fan of Tarantino, but when it comes to writing an original story, he is downright magical. You totally missed on this one, Oscar. Shame on you. Side note: congrats to Up for being nominated.
Animated Feature
Up [WINNER]
Coraline
Fantastic Mr. Fox
The Princess and the Frog
The Secret of Kells
Like a fat kid running to a table of donuts, you better not get in Pixar's way. I'm surprised that Ponyo wasn't nominated, but I do have to give props to The Secret of Kells. Never heard of you, but your animation reminds me of Fairly Odd Parents and that makes me smile.
Director
Quentin Tarantino, "Inglourious Basterds"
Kathryn Bigelow, "The Hurt Locker" [WINNER]
James Cameron, "Avatar"
Lee Daniels, "Precious: Based on the novel 'Push' by Sapphire"
Jason Reitman, "Up in the Air"
Let me set the record straight. This was not an upset. But what is upsetting is how much the news is overplaying the whole, "She's a woman and no woman has won this award in 60+ years!" Forget the fact that she's a woman. Drop the idea that women haven't directed a good film in years. Enjoy the fact that it was a good movie.
Supporting Actor
Matt Damon, "Invictus"
Woody Harrelson, "The Messenger"
Christopher Plummer, "The Last Station"
Stanley Tucci, "The Lovely Bones"
Christoph Waltz, "Inglourious Basterds" [WINNER]
We now enter the 2 categories that were pretty much set in stone since the Golden Globes. All I have to say for this one is Christoph Waltz was amazing, as I've mentioned before in a far more prestigious award (link).
Supporting Actress
Vera Farmiga, "Up in the Air"
Mo'Nique, "Precious" [WINNER]
Anna Kendrick, "Up in the Air"
Penelope Cruz, "Nine"
Maggie Gyllenhaal, "Crazy Heart"
Didn't watch Up in the Air. Didn't watch Crazy Heart. Definitely not going to watch Nine. Didn't watch Precious. I'll just go with the critics on this one. Love her stand-up.
Actor
George Clooney, "Up in the Air"
Jeff Bridges, "Crazy Heart" [WINNER]
Colin Firth, "A Single Man"
Morgan Freeman, "Invictus"
Jeremy Renner, "The Hurt Locker"
Really? I've only seen one of these movies (The Hurt Locker). Everyone and their mother probably knew Jeff Bridges was going to win, but they probably also have not seen the movie, which just makes me weary of the whole Oscar process. I'm not taking anything away from Jeff Bridges. I'm taking away from the fact that Brad Pitt wasn't nominated for his role in Inglorious Basterds or Robert Downey Jr. for his role in Sherlock Holmes.
Actress
Meryl Streep, "Julie & Julia"
Sandra Bullock, "The Blind Side" [WINNER]
Gabourey Sidibe, "Precious: Based on the novel 'Push' by Sapphire"
Helen Mirren, "The Last Station"
Carey Mulligan, "An Education"
This was basically a two horse race. I was pulling for Meryl Streep but don't mind that Sandra Bullock won.
Best Picture
Avatar
The Hurt Locker [WINNER]
Precious: Based on the novel 'Push' by Sapphire
Up in the Air
Inglourious Basterds
Up
The Blind Side
District 9
An Education
A Serious Man
And now we are at the finale. What used to be a cutthroat, shin-breaking, elbow-in-the-face type of award has now become a list of ok movies. Apparently, the Academy already forgot about the year that The English Patient won, where it seemed to struggle to find worthy nominees. I'm all for Avatar, The Hurt Locker, Inglorious Basterds, Up, and The Blind Side. Precious, Up in the Air and District 9 are a little bit of a stretch, but An Education and A Serious Man? Not only are they uncreative titles, but they are also movies that I don't even remember being in the theaters last year.
I heard rumors that Kathy Ireland was drunk during her stint on the red carpet. I didn't see that. Of course, I only caught the tail end of the entire thing and was more focused on the people being interviewed than the interviewers. I was a little miffed that they still ask "Who are you wearing?" as if that was what I cared about. What ever happened to, "Who are your favorites to win?" or "What projects do you have coming up?" I would have also accepted, "What was it like making [INSERT MOVIE]?" Also, Jeff Bridges looked as high as the Dude (The Big Lebowski) with the wicked beard.
Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin did a great job hosting. After the okay opening by Neil Patrick Harris, their monologue (can you call it a monologue with 2 people?) was hilarious. High point was when they made fun of George Clooney. Low point, so I heard, was the omission of Farah Fawcett from a slide show of the people who died this year. An even lower point is that people seem to have forgotten that Bea Arthur wasn't in there either. Maybe the people in the slide show are only for those that were in movies. I only remember those 2 from TV.
Here's the rundown and my colorful commentary from the awards that don't matter to the awards that I should care about more except for that fact that I don't.
Sound Editing
Avatar
The Hurt Locker
[WINNER]Inglourious Basterds
Star Trek
Up
My initial instinct was that Avatar was going to win this, hands down. Then I saw that the Hurt Locker won... WTF? If I actually cared about awards like this one, I might make a big stink about it. I'm assuming the "editing" portion means that the sounds don't overlap or run over in scenes. Like you hear an explosion and the boom is still running through the movie after a scene cut. Maybe the judges saw that some of the tree branches in Avatar that didn't rustle enough in their opinions.
Sound Mixing
Avatar
The Hurt Locker
[WINNER]Inglourious Basterds
Star Trek
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen
Last year, the winner was The Dark Knight and I could understand it because they made all of the sounds far crisper and bigger than they probably would have been in real life. So how in the world did Hurt Locker beat Avatar? This was definitely a head scratcher. Maybe the judges were impressed by how crisp the sound of the soldier cutting wires? Maybe the judges went into sensory overload after watching Avatar? Maybe the judges were impressed by the sounds of footsteps in the Hurt Locker? Maybe the judges thought that the Na'vi should all sound like ET and not like Uhura from Star Trek or CCH Pounder.
But Kudos to the Academy for nominating Star Trek twice for sounds.
Visual Effects
Avatar
[WINNER]District 9
Star Trek
Ok, this one I was willing to accept any of the three nominees (why only 3?) as the winner. Distinct 9 impressed me with the aliens and the weaponry. Sure it's not as great as the other 2, but definitely impressive. Star Trek was incredible. The space battles were fantastic. Avatar, deservedly so, won because I almost went into a diabetic coma with all of the sweet visuals. I used to watch movies and think, "I could have designed something better." Then I watched Transformers and realized I'm not detail-oriented enough. Then I watched Avatar and hung up whatever hopes and chances I thought I had. You win this round, Cameron.
Makeup
Il Divo
Star Trek
[WINNER]The Young Victoria
Hurray, Star Trek! You beat two movies I've either never heard of and never want to watch. I guess Vulcan ears and turning Eric Bana into a Kiebler Elf was enough for Star Trek to pull in this victory for nerd-kind.
Music (Original Score)
Avatar
Fantastic Mr. Fox
The Hurt Locker
Sherlock Holmes
Up
[WINNER]This was a shocker to me in a good way. First off, I wasn't even aware that The Hurt Locker had music in it. Sherlock Holmes, although I loved the movie, had an aggravatingly twangy violin score that often slapped me across the face to pull me out of the movie. Fantastic Mr. Fox... never watched it. I thought Avatar was going to win it because I thought all of the scenes were enriched by the musical score, but apparently the Academy continued its "FU Cameron" by giving the award to Up. Loved the musical score in Up. Definitely enriched the dialogue-less beginning that made me weep like baby.
Music (Original Song)
"Almost There" from "The Princess and the Frog"
"Down in New Orleans" from "The Princess and the Frog"
"Loin de Paname" from "Paris 36"
"Take it All" from "Nine
""The Weary Kind (Theme from "Crazy Heart") from "Crazy Heart" [WINNER]
First off, this felt like a really weak group of nominees. Remember when you couldn't get that Celine Dion song from Titantic out of your head? Remember when the Aladin song was playing on the radio 24/7? None of these songs did that and it felt like a real stretch when they pulled songs from Paris 36 and Nine and had to dip twice into the Disney bucket. I've never heard of any of these songs but knew that Crazy Heart was going to win it because of all the critical acclaimation it got. I just didn't know it was being sung by Colin Farrell. That was a surprise.
Short Film, Live Action
The Door
Instead of Abracadabra
Kavi
Miracle Fish
The New Tenants [WINNER]
Never heard or watched any of these movies. Can't believe they wasted air-time on short film categories. I don't know a single person that has gone up to me and said, "Hey, you want to go watch a short film?" Where do they even show these films? So I'll make up my own ideas on what these movies are about. The Door is a horror movie about a door being delivered to a home only to find out that it's too big so the people who bought it decide to cut it down to make it fit. Instead of Abracadabra is sad tale about, what else, dead rabbits. Kavi is about the cousins of the Na'vi in Avatar and we learn why Sigourney Weaver decided to just ignore them. Miracle Fish is about the 1972 Miami Dolphins and ends with (SPOILER ALERT) a message to Tom Brady telling him to, "Suck it." The winner, The New Tenants, is just 15 minutes of topless women jumping up and down in front of the camera. Yeah, I would have voted for that one too.
Short Film, Animated
French Toast
Granny O'Grimm's Sleeping Beauty
The Lady and the Reaper
Logorama [WINNER]
A Matter of Loaf and Death
Another short film category? And what's the deal with the bread? Two of the nominated short films here have something to do with bread in their titles. I probably would have voted for Logorama on the sheer fact that the title makes me think it's about doody.... wait a minute... is it Log-orama or Logo-rama? Forget it. I'll just vote for The Lady and the Reaper because it sounds like a funny sequel to Lady and the Tramp.
Documentary Short
China's Unnatural Disaster: The Tears of Sichuan Province
The Last Campaign of Governor Booth Gardner
The Last Truck: Closing of a GM Plant
Music by Prudence [WINNER]
Rabbit à la Berlin
Heard some crazy lady took the mic from the director/producer and started rambling about whatever it is that crazy people rant about. Didn't see it live. Would have been funnier if George Clooney did that Jeff Bridges.
Best Documentary Feature
Burma VJ
The Cove [WINNER]
Food, Inc.
The Most Dangerous Man in America: Daniel Ellsberg and the Pentagon Papers
Which Way Home
Huh, no Michael Moore movie this year? Oh well, I just sing to fill in some empty space.
*Ahem*
It's Peanut Butter Jelly Time! Peanut Butter Jelly Time! Peanut Butter Jelly Time! Peanut Butter Jelly Time! Peanut Butter Jelly! Peanut Butter Jelly! Peanut Butter Jelly with a baseball bat! Peanut Butter Jelly! Peanut Butter Jelly! Peanut Butter Jelly with a baseball bat!
Costume Design
Bright Star
Coco Before Chanel
The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus
Nine
The Young Victoria [WINNER]
Oh, a movie based in Victorian England wins the award for best costume design? Oh, how original! Since I actually haven't watched any of these 5 nominees, I just don't care.
Cinematography
Avatar
[WINNER]Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
The Hurt Locker
Inglourious Basterds
The White Ribbon
Really? Harry Potter was nominated? And what's The White Ribbon? If I knew what "cinematography" is, I'm sure I'd be pissed. At least Avatar is going home with some hardware (along with billions of dollars from ticket sales).
Best Film Editing
Avatar
District 9
The Hurt Locker
[WINNER]Inglourious Basterds
Precious
Not sure what the difference is between film editing and directing. Unless the film editing is all about the scene transitions. I'm a personal fan of the Star Wars movies and their use of every possible PowerPoint slide transition known to man for their scene transitions.
Art Direction
Avatar
[WINNER]The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus
Nine
Sherlock Holmes
The Young Victoria
You bet your ass Avatar won this one. That's another win for Avatar in a category that no one cares about. When are we getting to awards that will actually be talked about the next morning?
Best Foreign-Language Film
Ajami
El Secreto de Sus Ojos [WINNER]
The Milk of Sorrow
Un Prophète
The White Ribbon
Oh, so the White Ribbon was a foreign film... my money is that it's a pretencious French film that's actually about a ribbon, like that Red Balloon flick I see a lot of spoofs about. Ajami is probably about pajamas. El Secreto de Sus Ojos is probably a reenactment of the OJ Simpson murders. The Milk of Sorrow is what I used to see a lot of before I met the Doc, so I expect to see some royalty checks coming my way. Un Prophete is probably the tale of the worlds one true prophet: Slartibartfast.
Adapted Screenplay
District 9
An Education
In the Loop
Precious
[WINNER]Up in the Air
District 9 was a book? That was surprising.
Original Screenplay
The Hurt Locker
[WINNER]Inglourious Basterds
The Messenger
A Serious Man
Up
Now the Oscars are just yanking me around. How did the Hurt Locker beat Inglorious Basterds? I'm surprised Quentin Tarantino didn't jump on stage and shove his fist down Oscar's throat. I'm not a huge fan of Tarantino, but when it comes to writing an original story, he is downright magical. You totally missed on this one, Oscar. Shame on you. Side note: congrats to Up for being nominated.
Animated Feature
Up
[WINNER]Coraline
Fantastic Mr. Fox
The Princess and the Frog
The Secret of Kells
Like a fat kid running to a table of donuts, you better not get in Pixar's way. I'm surprised that Ponyo wasn't nominated, but I do have to give props to The Secret of Kells. Never heard of you, but your animation reminds me of Fairly Odd Parents and that makes me smile.
Director
Quentin Tarantino, "Inglourious Basterds"
Kathryn Bigelow, "The Hurt Locker" [WINNER]
James Cameron, "Avatar"
Lee Daniels, "Precious: Based on the novel 'Push' by Sapphire"
Jason Reitman, "Up in the Air"
Let me set the record straight. This was not an upset. But what is upsetting is how much the news is overplaying the whole, "She's a woman and no woman has won this award in 60+ years!" Forget the fact that she's a woman. Drop the idea that women haven't directed a good film in years. Enjoy the fact that it was a good movie.
Supporting Actor
Matt Damon, "Invictus"
Woody Harrelson, "The Messenger"
Christopher Plummer, "The Last Station"
Stanley Tucci, "The Lovely Bones"
Christoph Waltz, "Inglourious Basterds" [WINNER]
We now enter the 2 categories that were pretty much set in stone since the Golden Globes. All I have to say for this one is Christoph Waltz was amazing, as I've mentioned before in a far more prestigious award (link).
Supporting Actress
Vera Farmiga, "Up in the Air"
Mo'Nique, "Precious" [WINNER]
Anna Kendrick, "Up in the Air"
Penelope Cruz, "Nine"
Maggie Gyllenhaal, "Crazy Heart"
Didn't watch Up in the Air. Didn't watch Crazy Heart. Definitely not going to watch Nine. Didn't watch Precious. I'll just go with the critics on this one. Love her stand-up.
Actor
George Clooney, "Up in the Air"
Jeff Bridges, "Crazy Heart" [WINNER]
Colin Firth, "A Single Man"
Morgan Freeman, "Invictus"
Jeremy Renner, "The Hurt Locker"
Really? I've only seen one of these movies (The Hurt Locker). Everyone and their mother probably knew Jeff Bridges was going to win, but they probably also have not seen the movie, which just makes me weary of the whole Oscar process. I'm not taking anything away from Jeff Bridges. I'm taking away from the fact that Brad Pitt wasn't nominated for his role in Inglorious Basterds or Robert Downey Jr. for his role in Sherlock Holmes.
Actress
Meryl Streep, "Julie & Julia"
Sandra Bullock, "The Blind Side" [WINNER]
Gabourey Sidibe, "Precious: Based on the novel 'Push' by Sapphire"
Helen Mirren, "The Last Station"
Carey Mulligan, "An Education"
This was basically a two horse race. I was pulling for Meryl Streep but don't mind that Sandra Bullock won.
Best Picture
Avatar
The Hurt Locker
[WINNER]Precious: Based on the novel 'Push' by Sapphire
Up in the Air
Inglourious Basterds
Up
The Blind Side
District 9
An Education
A Serious Man
And now we are at the finale. What used to be a cutthroat, shin-breaking, elbow-in-the-face type of award has now become a list of ok movies. Apparently, the Academy already forgot about the year that The English Patient won, where it seemed to struggle to find worthy nominees. I'm all for Avatar, The Hurt Locker, Inglorious Basterds, Up, and The Blind Side. Precious, Up in the Air and District 9 are a little bit of a stretch, but An Education and A Serious Man? Not only are they uncreative titles, but they are also movies that I don't even remember being in the theaters last year.
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