If I Did Dat: Superman Casting

Because the first one was so much fun, I decided to do another one.

It’s no secret that Bryan Singer’s Superman Returns was a major snooze-fest that suffered from a mediocre script, a near invincible main character that makes suspense almost impossible, and really poor casting choices. Another strike against Superman Returns was the choice to restart the movie franchise as if it was a part 3 after the Richard Donner/Richard Lester Superman movies of the 70s and not a complete reboot.

First off, the 70s were far more forgiving of the creative license that those original movies took with the Superman canon so they didn’t see message board complaints about killing off Jonathan Kent during Superman’s adolescence, giving Lex Luthor two comic-relief henchmen who took up way too much screentime, and having Superman use the time reset ability near the end of each movie to make it seem like he can always hit the reset button if he screws up badly. Secondly, the 70s were far more accepting of cheese and, by cheese, I mean campy Adam West Batman types of scenes like the famous one where Superman is flying in the sky with Lois Lane (in a blue dress) while only holding her hand. Thirdly, Christopher Nolan’s Batman movies were complete reboots from the Tim Burton/Joel Schumacher films and he was successful, so Bryan Singer has no excuse for half-assing it there.

I also pointed at the poor casting choices because those really irked me (almost as much as the love-child Lois Lane seemed to of had with Superman). Clark Kent and Lois Lane aren’t impossible to cast, but I think they dropped the ball on this, especially with Lois Lane. Margot Kidder worked well because she threw all the spunk possible at the audience and did it successfully as a 70s career woman you’d want to save. Kate Bosworth didn’t do that. Some could say that her Lois Lane had to lose the charming brashness because she became a single mother (there’s that darned love-child ruining the movie again) and had to mellow out. I think it’s because Kate Bosworth would have been around the middle of a list of 100 actresses I would have chosen for Lois Lane and in all honesty, at around 20-30 actresses down the list, I would have gotten tired and started to just chose actresses because they had breasts and legs. Brandon Routh was a gamble that I’m willing to applaud Bryan Singer on. He was a virtual no-name outside of the soap opera circle and kudos to Singer for sticking to his convictions on hiring a no-name to play Superman. On paper, Routh was a good heir to Christopher Reeve’s silver-screen persona, but the poor script and lack of true acting scenes just made Routh’s performance fall flat. Or maybe his performance was a reflection of the poor casting of Kevin Spacey as Lex Luthor? Instead of making Lex Luthor someone to be feared, they made him someone to laugh at during his interactions with his cohorts… I didn’t laugh.

Clark Kent/Superman: Tom Welling

I’m a fan of the CW show Smallville and I’m a Super-fan of Tom Welling as Clark Kent. He’s grown up from the awkward high school kid to become the Red-Blue Blur on that show. He hits all the right notes for Clark. He’s wholesome, innocent, and can be a boy scout without having to stretch too far. Heck, he’s even got Christopher Reeve’s seal of approval and if he likes Tom Welling, then we should all like Tom Welling. Oh and it helps that he’s chiseled like a Greek statue.

Lois Lane: Erica Durance

Someone should have given the Smallville casting director a bonus on this one. That’s right! I’m dipping my pen into the TV show’s ink again. She’s got the panache and spunk that endeared Kidder to America and she’s smoking hot to boot. With her as Lois Lane, you can understand why Superman would want to save her so many times.

Lex Luthor: Timothy Olyphant

I almost went with Smallville again, but decided against it this time. I’m a fan of Michael Rosenbaum (especially of his voice acting as the Flash in the Justice League cartoon and as Lex Luthor in Smallville), but I want someone with a more booming voice. I almost went with Clancy Brown (voice of Lex Luthor in the Superman cartoon in the 90s), but he was a little too old for me to play the live action version. So instead, I choose Timothy Olyphant. He’s got the cocky, yet deep voice that can easily be attributed to a villain (Live Free or Die Hard) and he looks good bald (Hitman), both are recommended watches from me. I don’t see this role needing much in the ways of fist-fighting skills, but it definitely needs a strong voice to spout out commands. Timothy Olyphant fits that bill.

Jimmy Olsen: Jesse Eisenberg

He’s Superman’s best friend… at least through the 90s as far as I can remember. So he’s got be in the movies. Casting this was more difficult than I thought it’d be. I need someone dorky/geeky, squeaky clean, and able to deliver a “Golly gee!” or a “We’re in a pickle now!” line without making the audience want to throw stuff at the screen. Originally, I wanted Michael Cera, but he’s too engrained in my head as a guy that makes me laugh by being a downer. We can’t have that for Jimmy Olsen. So I’m going with Jesse Eisenberg. He’s pretty much a poor man’s Michael Cera and because of that, he isn’t so type-casted in my head yet.

Perry White: Jack Coleman

I’m going young with this casting mainly because I feel like it (if you can call Jack Coleman young). Usually Perry White is cast as an old man. Well, old men retire and I wanted someone weathered, but still has about 10-20 good years as an editor in them for sequels. I also needed someone with a strong enough personality to reel in Lois Lane without having to resort to sexual harassment or physical abuse and be able to bellow out "Great Caesar's ghost!" without sounding stupid. Jack Coleman’s Noah Bennett on Heroes was that sort of character to me. He instilled fear in his enemies while still being soft and loving to his family. Yeah, that’s Perry White.

Martha Kent: Lynda Carter

Cameo Alert! For a role that is usually ignored after the first half of the first movie but is important for Superman lore, we need someone that has the name recognition to be remembered but isn’t so overpowering that it wouldn’t make sense to cast her in such a small role in the first place. That’s when I landed on Lynda Carter (70’s TV’s Wonder Woman). I’m casting her just for the fan appeal in the right circles (comic book geeks). It’s a bonus that she can act and act well.

Jonathan Kent: Kevin Sorbo

Cameo Alert #2! OK, I might be dropping the ball on this one, but I’m so peeved at the movies killing Jonathan Kent that I wanted to cast someone young enough that such a plot device would not make sense, like giving a baby Rabies or killing a grandmother in a drive-by. There’s also the added benefit that, like Lynda Carter, I get name recognition in the right circles who would appreciate the casting decision, like fans of his Hercules show or Andromeda.

Kara Kent/Supergirl: Amber Heard

Who? If you watched Pineapple Express (which I’m assuming you probably didn’t) she played Seth Rogan’s still-in-high-school girlfriend. She was also in Zombieland and Never Back Down. If you don’t think she can do the wholesome country girl of Kara Kent, look at this picture (Link). If you don’t think she can play the blonde bombshell superhero, look at this picture and imagine a cape flapping behind her (Link). If you think you can beat that, make a comment. By the way, if you’re wondering why I didn’t choose Laura Vandervoort, it’s because I couldn’t get myself to like Supergirl as much as I should have. If you ever read the Superman/Batman: Supergirl graphic novel, you’ll see what I’m talking about.

Lana Lang: Leighton Meester

This is another one of those “cast an unknown” things I like to do because even though Angelina Jolie is a bigger name, whenever I watched Tomb Raider, I can’t stop thinking that it’s Angelina Jolie. Leighton Meester might as well be a no-name for me because I’ve never watched Gossip Girl and for a small part in the beginning of the movie as Clark Kent’s high school crush, I’m fine with picking an actress based solely on a single picture I just happen to cross over on imdb (Link).

Mercy Graves: Holly Valance

Here’s another “who’s that” choice. I wanted an actress who can do kick ass fight scenes because as Lex Luthor’s assistant/bodyguard, Mercy Graves, she should know how to throw down with the likes of Lois Lane and display the worthiness of standing next to Superman’s most recognizable villain. For this role, I chose Holly Valance because I’m one of the few Americans to have seen DOA: Dead or Alive starring Jaime Pressley. Yeah, I know. You don’t expect the girl from My Name is Earl to be a good action star, but she did really well in the fight scenes (story sucked though). Holly Valance played the butt-kicking thief and had a very memorable one-on-one fight on a rainy beach in practically her underwear (story sucked, but they catered to me as an audience).