TV Show of the Year (Comedy)

This was a gut busting year and that’s not including the large amount of cake and hot dogs I ate during the New Year’s celebration this year. Thankfully, I heard that laughing can burn calories and the treadmill we just got home delivered doesn’t even work so I’ll be relying more on laughter to keep me slim and trim!

• 30 Rock
Let’s face it. 30 Rock is golden. It’s got the zaniness of a Zucker film (Hot Shots, Airplane!, Naked Gun), but still maintains hidden strings to keep the show grounded enough for audiences to remain attached to the characters. It’s an amazing balancing act, but the brilliant cast of characters and writers do it with ease.

• Modern Family
This show has been the AED for ABC. They hit all the right notes. The different points of view on the definition of family are thoughtfully written and always bring a smile to my face. I root for everyone, even when some of them butt heads against each other. It’s almost as if some higher power (Ed O’Neil) reached down and resuscitated the flailing channel.

• How I Met Your Mother
I was slow to hop aboard this show and have been kicking myself for that ever since The Doc graciously introduced me to how funny that show really is. All of the characters are hilarious. All of the storylines are entertaining. And once I learned that Bob Saget does the narrations, I was “super sold” on the show.

• Family Guy
I have to give kudos to the Emmys. They finally nominated Family Guy for best comedy—something we all knew should have happened ever since its first season on Fox after the show’s second cancellation. It’s one of the few shows where I own every season on DVD and watch it whenever I can and this season is right up there with all of the others. Seth MacFarlane is a comedy genius and he knows how to push the right buttons to make me laugh, be grossed out, and laugh some more.

• The Colbert Report
I’m an unofficial member of the official unofficial Colbert Report fan site called ColbertNation.com. Every show is gold. The Threat Down, Tip of the Hat/Wag of the Finger, Alpha Dog of the Week, and so on are all tasty treats to serve up horrible news with a funny spoonful of sugar to help everything go down smoothly.

And the Winner is…
30 Rock!

Yep, no shockers or upsets in this category. Do I really need to explain why this show wins? Watch the show. If Jane Krakowski doesn’t make you laugh with her first scene, then maybe the next one will.

TV Show of the Year (Drama)

Thanks to the horrible idea of NBC to rid themselves of four slots in the usual drama hour before the news and Tonight Show, I would have thought that whittling down five nominees for this year would have been easier than writing my name in the snow after winning a dozen rounds of Drink the Beer. I couldn’t have been any more wrong than the night I decided to save time in my morning routine by peeing while taking a shower. The morning after a meal with asparagus was probably not a good first day to try that.

• NCIS
I am a super fan when it comes to Gibbs and his team. From the storylines between Ziva and DiNozzo to the perfect geek coupling of McGee and Abby, I was hooked on this show ever since they killed Kate. Yeah, I hated Kate. I thought Ziva was a step down with all of her ill-attempted idioms, but then she started kicking ass and threw a knife into a dude’s chest. Yeah, I like Ziva.

• Burn Notice
Aw, Michael Weston, how I wish I was like you. Every season you teach me useful information, like how to turn the trunk of my car into an x-ray machine or how to trick a Russian mob hit-man into betraying his own people. You are like the MacGuyver of our generation. Bruce Campbell’s Sam Axe is always a joy to see and Gabrielle Anwar’s Fiona Glenanne is always a really big joy to see. After killing off Karla and seeing you struggle through the new year of troubles with a swagger that only a true man could appreciate, Michael Weston, I salute you.

• Lie To Me
I came into the Lie To Me show a season late, but when I convinced myself to DVR it during the middle of their second season, I watched Tim Roth’s Cal Lightman help a old buddy of his win at poker by reading people. Then I saw him get shot by a bad guy’s bodyguard and then come back up because he was able to tell that the bodyguard was actually a cop! I was shocked! After that, I was hooked. So hooked that I went and bought the first season on DVD. With hottie veteran Kelli Williams as the second-in-command and Latina hottie Monica Raymund, it's extra incentive for me to keep my eyes glued to the TV.

• Castle
There’s definitely biased in this situation. Yes, I have a man crush on Nathan Fillion. Yes, I have a crush on Stana Katic. And yes, that is a roll of quarters in my pants. When it comes to dramas, I enjoy the whodunits and this definitely follows the formula of dead body, suspect, twist, new suspect, and finale. Plus, the witty repartee between Castle and Detective Beckett are more than enough to fill the antics of a sitcom.

• Grey’s Anatomy
This one is for the Doc (and a little for me). Once you get passed the fact that it’s aimed at the feminine half of society, this show kicks some nice ass, figuratively speaking that is. While the ladies ogle eye candy like Patrick Dempsey and Eric Dane, the guys can just watch these dudes rock the operating table and destroy diseases like bugs. While the ladies weep and sob with the heartaches of Ellen Pompeo, Sandra Oh, and Katherine Heigl, the guys can ogle them like eye candy. It’s a win-win. Oh yeah, and was anyone else like totally feeling it when Karev helped nurse a baby back from the brink of death while suffering on the inside because Izzie totally ditched him and left him twisting in the wind as she ignored her cancer treatments

And the Winner is…
Lie To Me!

I love smug lead characters. In the same mold as House, Bones, and Big Bang Theory, Tim Roth does a successful know-it-all that can keep me entertained for an entire hour and then leave me wanting more for the next week (and buying a season’s worth of DVDs).

Movie Actress of the Year

I’m not breaking any news when I say that the number of quality roles for leading ladies pales in comparison to those of men, but when these ladies get the parts they want, they run and run and run with them until they become something more golden than what the men could have done themselves. Was that long sentence? Yes it was.

• Sandra Bullock
The Proposal, All About Steve, The Blind Side

I can talk on and on about how amazing she was as a heartless Canadian editor in The Proposal or as a Southern bell with a heart of gold, but we all know which role really got her here and that’s her part as a crazy woman in All About Steve. Just kidding. That part actually hurt her a bit this year.

• Meryl Streep
Julie & Julia, Fantastic Mr. Fox, Doubt
The sad part here is that It’s Complicated didn’t make it in time for this year’s nominations, but the strength of her other roles this year are noteworthy as well. It’s no secret that I have crush on Miss Streep. She’s on my list of celebrities I can nookie with that the Doc can’t get angry with me, along with Katherine Hepburn and Jessica Rabbit.

• Amy Adams
Julie & Julia, Sunshine Cleaning, Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian, Doubt
2009 was a busy year for Amy Adams (including 2 movies with Meryl Streep) and it’s also no secret that I’ve been smitten with her since Talladega Nights, but that movie doesn’t qualify as being mentioned during deliberation, even though I still get naughty thoughts of her crawling on my dinner table like Tawny Kitaen .

• Emily Blunt
Sunshine Cleaning, Curiosity, The Young Victoria

Here’s a name you’re going to hear a lot of after 2009 and deservedly so. Emily Blunt had some strong performances this year (although I only watched Sunshine Cleaning). She’s undeniably the longshot in this category, but she also undeniably earned this nomination.

• Reese Witherspoon
Monsters Vs Aliens, Four Christmases

It takes some real acting chops to make me believe that you’re a 40-ft woman. To be honest, she’s nominated because I didn’t want to put Julia Roberts here (not even going to imdb link her). Hated Duplicity. Loved Monsters Vs Aliens. That’s enough reason to nominate Reese Witherspoon.

And the Winner Is…

Sandra Bullock!

Although it hurts me to not give this to Meryl Streep, I could not look past the record-breaking year that Sandra Bullock had. Don’t worry, Meryl. You’ll have next year.

Movie Actor of the Year

You may be wondering, “For what movie is each actor nominated?” Well, to that, I reply, “All of the ones in 2009!” That’s right. I don’t give awards based only on a single performance. I give awards based on the breadth of an entire year of accomplishments. Will someone get bonus points for having 2+ roles in a year? Sure thing. Will that guarantee them the victory? Heck no! I’m not going to pass on getting Hulk Hogan’s autograph for the John Hancocks of John Stud, Koko B. Ware, and a referee. Not sure why I threw in a wrestling reference. Must be from all the testosterone of the nominees for Best Movie Actor of 2009.

• Brad Pitt
Before 2009, the only Brad Pitt movies I’ve watched from beginning end were Cool World, Ocean’s Eleven, Se7en, Fight Club, and Thelma & Louise. Now I’m proud to say I watched him in Inglorious Basterds. Very rarely have I ever watched a movie and came out of the theater saying, “I wish it had more Brad Pitt.” This was one of those moments.

• George Clooney
George Clooney has become a master of making movies I don’t want to watch, or at the very least, don’t want to shell out over $10 just to watch in the theaters. This year, he had come out with three such movies (Up in the Air, The Fantastic Mr. Fox, and The Men Who Stare at Goats). Usually, I wouldn’t nominate someone for movies that I didn’t watch, but they came at such volume that he was hard to ignore. I give him an “A” for effort, but will that be enough to get him the victory?

• Ryan Reynolds
This funny man came out with 2 blockbuster movies this summer (X-Men Origins: Wolverine and The Proposal) that really stretched out his acting chops. In Wolverine, he played a sharp-tongued mercenary who loves to kill. In The Proposal, he played a sharp-tongued Alaskan… I feel like I’ve repeated myself.

• John Krasinski
What? That’s right! I said it! John bleeping Krasinski! I watched Away We Go in the theater with the Doc and loved it. LOVED IT! Am I ashamed of this truth? N-O, no! Did I die a little inside when I watched it? I think I actually got rejuvenated. Could my opinion be swayed by the fact that, on the same day, I also get a free can of Rockstar energy drink and a Rockstar baseball cap? …Maybe.

• Gerard Butler
Here is another nominee based on sheer volume. He even outpaced George Clooney by making 4 movie appearances this year (Law Abiding Citizen, Gamer, The Ugly Truth, and Tales of the Black Freighter). Sad thing, though, is I only watched half of these, but loved him in Tales of the Black Freighter and The Ugly Truth.

And the Winner Is…
Brad Pitt!

In his best role since Fight Club, Brad Pitt was able to make me really enjoy the half of Inglorious Basterds that he was in and shows that sometimes quality can beat quantity.

Movie Character of the Year

Every great movie has at least one: the character, big or small, that leaves an impression in the back of your head which will stay with you forever. This year’s crop of characters has been amazing and strangely varied. If you had asked me last year, I would have said that all of the movie studios would be so focused on trying to copy the Joker, that we’d be stuck with a bunch of characters in the same mold, but I am, thankfully, wrong. We’ve got a heartfelt southern mother, a space doctor (not a physicist), a WWII lieutenant who loves what he does, a mutated tomato, and a lone wolf who found his wolf pack. Yep, I don’t see the Joker anywhere here.

• Leigh Ann Tuohy (Sandra Bullock, The Blind Side)
This was pleasant surprise for the year. I started watching The Blind Side expecting a plot driven story with less emphasis on characters, but instead, we get Sandra Bullock’s tongue-in-cheek Leigh Ann Tuohy, who does what she says and says what she does.

• Alan Garner (Zach Galifianakis, The Hangover)
Nothing I say can give more justice than the following speech by Alan in the movie:

You guys might not know this, but I consider myself a bit of a loner. I tend to think of myself as a one-man wolf pack. But when my sister brought Doug home, I knew he was one of my own. And my wolf pack... it grew by one. So there... there were two of us in the wolf pack... I was alone first in the pack, and then Doug joined in later. And six months ago, when Doug introduced me to you guys, I thought, "Wait a second, could it be?" And now I know for sure, I just added two more guys to my wolf pack. Four of us wolves, running around the desert together, in Las Vegas, looking for strippers and cocaine. So tonight, I make a toast!

Then he proceeds to cut his hand to make a blood pack that freaks the others out. Golden!

• Dr. Leonard “Bones” McCoy (Karl Urban, Star Trek)
In a movie filled with memorable moments, Karl Urban’s portrayal of Bones stole the most scenes from Kirk and Spock. From his introduction where a stewardess pulled him out of hiding in a shuttle restroom, every scene with Bones brought a lot of levity to what could have been a dark movie.

• Lt. Aldo Raine (Brad Pitt, Inglorious Basterds)
If this movie was based on true events, Lt. Aldo Raine would have been a polarizing figure. His mission wasn’t to save people. It was a simple mission. Bring fear to the Third Reich by killing Nazis in gruesome ways. Whether it be by scalping dead soldiers, spreading rumors of an invincible “Bear Jew” that likes to smash the heads of soldiers, or by carving a swastika into any Nazi they let go in exchange for information. The movie left me wanting more Aldo Raine and less of the other story of Shoshanna.

• B.O.B (Seth Rogan, Monsters Vs. Aliens)
I have soft spot for great characters that, in no way, could carry a movie by themselves, but can make a great movie even better: kind of like salt. If you tell me to eat a spoonful of salt, I’d demand money. If you tell me to eat popcorn, I’d demand for some salt. B.O.B. is that kind of character. As the no-brained member of the Monsters team, he was the funniest of the out-of-place creatures left to defend our planet. Every scene with him was a knee-slapper, even when he’s just playing with a ball or talking to a plate of gelatin.

And the Winner is…
Dr. Leonard “Bones” McCoy!

The only thing I would have added to this character was a nice rack to stare at. Thankfully, the movie provided plenty in the backgrounds.