Movie Cast of the Year

Some movies rely heavily on special effects and hope to God that you don’t notice the lackluster script and horrible acting (… Michael Bay!). Others have a great script, but drop the ball when it comes to casting because they’ll go for big names, instead of the right names (…Michael Bay!). But when a movie is casted right, it is worth shelling out the $10 to watch them on the big screen (Michael Bay, you still owe me $10 for Pearl Harbor!).

• Monsters Vs Aliens
I have a soft spot for the toons. Some would say it is an unhealthy spot for a 26-year-old man, but to those people, I say, “Kiss my surprisingly firm ass!” How can you pass on a movie with Reese Witherspoon, Rainn Wilson, Kiefer Sutherland, Seth Rogan, Hugh Laurie, Will Arnett, Stephen Colbert, Amy Poehler, Jeffery Tambor, Paul Rudd, Ed Helms, Renee Zellweger, and John Krasinski! *pant* *wheeze* I can’t believe I did that all in one breath. Wow, I’m a little light headed right now.

• The Proposal
This nomination comes on the strength of two great performances by Sandra Bullock and Ryan Reynolds and followed by the sound and sturdy support of Betty White and the Coach Craig T. Nelson. Sure, the script got incredibly cheesy with the Indian fire dance scene, but that was quickly remedied by Sandra Bullock being able to convert a raunchy song into an Indian chant. “To the windows (to the windows), to the walls (to the walls), ‘til the sweat drips from my…”

• I Love You, Man
This one should win for sheer variety. What other movie can you find Paul Rudd, Jason Segal, Rashida Jones, Jon Favreau, Jaime Pressly, Jane Curtain, JK Simmons, Andy Samberg, Thomas Lennon, a really old man, and the Hulk? I’ll tell you what other movie! Nothing! No movie can put a group like this together and make it work.

• Star Trek
When you hear that the biggest names in a big budget blockbuster are Simon Pegg and the bad guy from Heroes, you’ve got to scratch your head. But you watch it anyway because it’s freaking Star Trek! Then you start to dig the casting and really enjoy the movie. Sure, it’s a little lame that Eric Bana is the main threat to end the universe (slightly expected, though), but the rest of the cast is worth cheering for in this movie and the many, many sequels I hope will come. P.S. Zoe Saldana is H-O-T hot!

• The Hangover
Unlike the other nominees on this list, I heard little to nothing about this hilarious flick until a couple weeks before its release, but what I heard was so great, that I shelled out the cash (or was it the Doc that sneakily paid for that one while I searched for my wallet?) and watched it in the theaters. To me, this was Bradley Cooper’s coming out party with unparalleled performances by Zach Galifianakis and Ed Helms. Then there were the great cameos by Rob Riggle, Mike Epps, Ken Jeong, Rachel Harris, and even a musical Mike Tyson. The only thing missing from this movie was a topless scene by a hot blonde… Oh wait, there was one (Heather Graham)!

And the Winner is…

The Hangover!

Let me just say that the day this came out of Blu-ray, I bought it, but I couldn’t open it until after Christmas because I heard a rumor from the Doc that I may be getting a copy from Santa. Unknowingly to the Doc, I’ve been on the naughty list ever since I discovered self-love and never turned back. Those days between purchase and Christmas were excruciating because I wanted to watch those zany antics and the scenes with baby Carlos. But I couldn’t because opening the package would make it harder to return it if I did get it for Christmas and by then, the people at Customer Service would have developed a thick, uncaring shell that would numb them to my problems. It would have been even more stressful if I didn’t bury myself deeper into the naughty list those weeks… if you know what I mean.

Movie Villain of the Year

Aw, the joys of evil! You may be praised for being a hero, but you have more fun being the heel. Well, at least until the hero starts to beat the snot out of you and either kill you or hangs you upside-down so that the cops can arrest you legally. Heath Ledger’s Joker in Dark Knight set the bar up really high last year. Did this year’s wide variety of villains hit the right mark like the Joker?

• Deadpool (Nolan North, Hulk Vs.)
What do you get when you mix sociopath with Wolverine and a pineapple? Well, you get a truer version of Deadpool, than what we got from X-Men Origins: Wolverine (casted perfectly, but executed wrong). In Hulk Vs Wolverine, Deadpool was done right. With the right mix of crazy, evil, and sadism, Nolan North’s portrayal is what Deadpool should have been in the live action flick. I even think this was accomplished is lesser screen time as well.

• Col. Hans Landa (Christoph Waltz, Inglorious Basterds)
This is the perfect know-it-all villain. Just when you think you’re able to outsmart him, it turns out he speaks Italian! This is the perfect villain for a Tarantino flick. How so? Well, he can talk a lot about nothing and then throw you to the ground and strangle you to death with is bare hands (one of the most cringe-worthy scenes I’ve seen that didn’t have blood in it).

• Victor “Sabertooth” Creed (Liev Schrieber, X-Men Origins: Wolverine)
When I heard that Liev Schrieber was cast as Sabertooth, I shivered a bit. Partly because I knew he could easily play evil, but mostly because he was way too undersized to be the mammoth villain that almost always bested the much smaller Wolverine. But like how Hugh Jackman made me forget about the fact that he was way too tall to play Wolverine, Schrieber was able to make me forget that he was too small to be Sabertooth. Sure, some scenes with him were over the top and campy, but overall, I was entertained.

• Galaxor (Rainn Wilson, Monsters Vs Aliens)
All Hail Rainn Wilson! If I ever make a movie about an extremely evil villain that we’re supposed to laugh at, I’d cast Rainn Wilson. As Galaxor, a purple squid-like alien mastermind, he was able to bring an ominous feeling that world may be coming to an end while also making us crack up in laughter. It’s a shame that the way it ended, Galaxor probably won’t be there for a sequel. Lame.

• Mr. Chen (Ken Jeong, The Hangover)
I was stuck between the hilarious Mr. Chen and the entire cast of Twilight: New Moon. Mr. Chen is an option because his first scene was of him jumping out of a trunk completely naked and attacking the main characters with a tire iron. The entire cast of Twilight is an option because the right people weren’t naked at all. Mr. Chen is an option because had hilarious one-liners. The entire cast of Twilight is an option because listening to them whine and moan made me want to shove a toothpick in my ear and swirl it around. Mr. Chen gets the nomination because the overall performance is noteworthy. The entire cast of Twilight, well, I don’t think I should reward that kind of evil.

And the Winner is…
Deadpool! Col. Hans Landa!

Like the Joker to Batman, Hans Landa was the perfect villain to counter Brad Pitt’s Lt. Aldo Raine. Even though I was pulling for Deadpool, I have to give props to Tarantino and Waltz for making such a deliciously devious Nazi when they could have just went in a completely different direction and made him pure evil. I recommend Inglorious Basterds because of Landa and, of course, Aldo Raine.

TV Actress of the Year

This year’s crop of best female actresses on the small screen stretch the spectrum of characters, from a mother in the slightly lower-middle class to a mother in the slightly upper-middle class, from a police detective to a police chief. And whatever it is that you can categorize Liz Lemon… let’s just go with “crazy”.

• Courtney Cox
Honestly, this is pretty much just Monica Gellar with a new set of friends and it works for me. At first, I wasn’t willing to accept it, but Courtney Cox has been able to sell it and sell it well. She knows when to turn up the crazy and turn up the dial of hotness. Few are talented enough to pull this off. David Arquette is a very lucky man.

• Kyra Sedgwick
In full disclosure, I wasn’t keen on the Closer. The main reason was because of the Southern accent. For some reason, southern accents send shivers up my spine. Was it because I had watched the Texas Chainsaw Massacre around the time the show came out? Was it because the evil coach of the cheerleading team in my high school hailed from Texas? Or was it because I linked all Southern accents to a bumbling voice I heard on television trying to tell me there was a reason for invading Iraq? Anyway, thanks to the Doc, I watched the Closer and finally understand why all the critics were praising her performance. And I’m even working on that whole Southern accent fear (I’m currently working on twangs, Louisiana French, and Miami surfers).

• Tina Fey
The show is extremely hilarious and she’s the catalyst for it all. For a roll that was catered to her, she was able to send it to the stratosphere. She lost the Emmy to Toni Collette, but thanks to my frugalness, I don’t pay beyond extended cable.

• Jaime Pressley
From a show that gets almost all the accolades to a show that almost always gets snubbed, Jaime Pressley’s delivery of snarky one-liners and devil-may-care attitude has been golden. I was even able to be completely distracted from the Southern accent. She’s one hell of an actress to make me forget about my fears.

• Stana Katic
I’ll admit it. This is a stretch, but I’ve been watching a lot of Castle and also watched the horrible mistake called The Spirit. In both instances, I enjoyed the performance of Stana Katic. She may not be a household name right now (I’m not even sure how to pronounce it), but she’ll be really famous in the future. I mean like Rene Russo in the 90’s famous.

And the Winner is…

Tina Fey!

This is usually the part of the awards where I explain my choice for winner or say something in a vain attempt at humor. There’s no reason for explain this choice. So I’ll go for humor. Um… Crap! I’m drawing a blank. This is so embarrassing.

Um, knock, knock!
(Who’s there?)
Hal!
(Hal who?)
Halitosis!

That wasn’t funny.

TV Actor of the Year

Alright cats and kittens, this is where we separate the men from the boys. This was a tough category to whittle down to the top five because of the high caliber of performances that came in this year, both old and new. Although standards like Tony Shaloub and Steve Carrell, maybe because I don’t separate between comedy and drama, these men are the best of the best.

• Tim Roth
When I first heard that Tim Roth was going to star in a TV drama on Fox, my first reaction was “Who’s Tim Roth?” Then I found out he was Mr. Orange in Reservoir Dogs and Emil Blonsky in The Incredible Hulk (the one starring Edward Norton), I had a joy-gasm. After changing my pants, I started watching Lie To Me and fell for the show and his performance as the human lie-detector, Dr. Cal Lightman.

• Simon Baker
The Mentalist is a showcase for Simon Baker’s charming cockiness. For anyone else, I’d immediately flip the channel, but he’s been able to draw me in and keep me drawn with his know-it-all/damaged portrayal as former TV psychic Patrick Jane. Could it be also because he works with hottie Robin Tunney? Maybe. But this nomination highlights his work, not with whom he works.

• Nathan Fillion
If you’ve seen the Man Crush nominations, then you’ll know that I have a love affair with Mr. Fillion since his days on Two Guys and a Girl, but his performance as the title character on Castle has been a highlight to my Monday nights. It hurt me to know that I missed the first season as they came out (but I redeemed myself by getting the first season on DVD). Now I watch the second season and his suave performances mixed with wit and comedy just keep me wanting more.

• Alec Baldwin
The role as Jack Donaghy was made for Alec Baldwin. I can’t imagine anyone else playing the same role to such a natural manner that it looks effortless. Could it be because Alec Baldwin is one of the greatest performers of all time (according to Team America) or is it because he’s just awesome… did I just repeat myself?

• Hugh Laurie
This year has stretched House way out of his comfort zone and Hugh Laurie seems to love it. He’s been thrown into a loony bin, realized he’s fallen for Cuddy, and has to live with Wilson while having to get his license back and solve medical mysteries that only he and Dr. Quinn: Medicine Woman could solve.

And the Winner is…

Tim Roth!

He may have a speech or not. I’m not sure. I’m just going to step away for a bit before he reads my face and makes me admit that I touch myself too much… oh crap!

TV Character of the Year

Sometimes, a show will call upon a single character to carry a show on their back for an entire season and they succeed. Other times, a show will call upon someone else and fail. These are the characters who would smite them all!

• Doctor Who (David Tennant, Doctor Who)
In the swan song of his tenure of the Doctor, he has made me laugh, cry (in a manly way), and cheer. There have been 10 other incarnations of the Doctor and I have to say, this is my favorite. Dare I say, brilliant!

• Liz Lemon (Tina Fey, 30 Rock)
I used to always ask myself: How is she not considered a hottie? Then they showed how she would like in HD, and then I understood. Well, I understood after I rewound my DVR and watched it again because I laughed so hard during the first time.

• Sheldon Cooper (Jim Parsons, Big Bang Theory)
He is the Mr. Know-It-All in a circle of geniuses. Sheldon’s quirky view of the world outside of his understanding always makes me laugh. His facial twitches as he tries to comprehend the incomprehensible makes me laugh. His lack of sympathy (and sometime downright evil) makes me laugh. Yep, this is a character done right.

• Dexter Morgan (Michael C. Hall, Dexter)
If you’re a serial killer who cuts up your victims into little pieces and dump them into the ocean, I wouldn’t watch the made-for-TV movie they made about you. But if you’re Dexter Morgan, I’ll watch your show over and over again (I even bought season 3 on DVD).

• Gregory House (Hugh Laurie, House MD)
House has been through a lot this year. He was in a mental institution. He saved Wilson from committing career suicide. He’s stumbling with his efforts to woo Cuddy. He loses Cameron because of her hatred towards him. And he still has his limp. Yet he still can solve a medical mystery that confounds everyone else. Good job.

And the Winner is…

Liz Lemon!

As the lone female representative in the nominees, Liz Lemon has shown that anyone can win this award. All you have to do is get a bad haircut because your boss said your original hairstyle wasn’t good enough, be willing to show yourself in HD to horrid results, cry through your mouth because of cheap eye surgery, and have a mental breakdown… all in one episode. Easy as pie!