I heard rumors that Kathy Ireland was drunk during her stint on the red carpet. I didn't see that. Of course, I only caught the tail end of the entire thing and was more focused on the people being interviewed than the interviewers. I was a little miffed that they still ask "Who are you wearing?" as if that was what I cared about. What ever happened to, "Who are your favorites to win?" or "What projects do you have coming up?" I would have also accepted, "What was it like making [INSERT MOVIE]?" Also, Jeff Bridges looked as high as the Dude (The Big Lebowski) with the wicked beard.
Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin did a great job hosting. After the okay opening by Neil Patrick Harris, their monologue (can you call it a monologue with 2 people?) was hilarious. High point was when they made fun of George Clooney. Low point, so I heard, was the omission of Farah Fawcett from a slide show of the people who died this year. An even lower point is that people seem to have forgotten that Bea Arthur wasn't in there either. Maybe the people in the slide show are only for those that were in movies. I only remember those 2 from TV.
Here's the rundown and my colorful commentary from the awards that don't matter to the awards that I should care about more except for that fact that I don't.
Sound Editing
Avatar
The Hurt Locker
[WINNER]Inglourious Basterds
Star Trek
Up
My initial instinct was that Avatar was going to win this, hands down. Then I saw that the Hurt Locker won... WTF? If I actually cared about awards like this one, I might make a big stink about it. I'm assuming the "editing" portion means that the sounds don't overlap or run over in scenes. Like you hear an explosion and the boom is still running through the movie after a scene cut. Maybe the judges saw that some of the tree branches in Avatar that didn't rustle enough in their opinions.
Sound Mixing
Avatar
The Hurt Locker
[WINNER]Inglourious Basterds
Star Trek
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen
Last year, the winner was The Dark Knight and I could understand it because they made all of the sounds far crisper and bigger than they probably would have been in real life. So how in the world did Hurt Locker beat Avatar? This was definitely a head scratcher. Maybe the judges were impressed by how crisp the sound of the soldier cutting wires? Maybe the judges went into sensory overload after watching Avatar? Maybe the judges were impressed by the sounds of footsteps in the Hurt Locker? Maybe the judges thought that the Na'vi should all sound like ET and not like Uhura from Star Trek or CCH Pounder.
But Kudos to the Academy for nominating Star Trek twice for sounds.
Visual Effects
Avatar
[WINNER]District 9
Star Trek
Ok, this one I was willing to accept any of the three nominees (why only 3?) as the winner. Distinct 9 impressed me with the aliens and the weaponry. Sure it's not as great as the other 2, but definitely impressive. Star Trek was incredible. The space battles were fantastic. Avatar, deservedly so, won because I almost went into a diabetic coma with all of the sweet visuals. I used to watch movies and think, "I could have designed something better." Then I watched Transformers and realized I'm not detail-oriented enough. Then I watched Avatar and hung up whatever hopes and chances I thought I had. You win this round, Cameron.
Makeup
Il Divo
Star Trek
[WINNER]The Young Victoria
Hurray, Star Trek! You beat two movies I've either never heard of and never want to watch. I guess Vulcan ears and turning Eric Bana into a Kiebler Elf was enough for Star Trek to pull in this victory for nerd-kind.
Music (Original Score)
Avatar
Fantastic Mr. Fox
The Hurt Locker
Sherlock Holmes
Up
[WINNER]This was a shocker to me in a good way. First off, I wasn't even aware that The Hurt Locker had music in it. Sherlock Holmes, although I loved the movie, had an aggravatingly twangy violin score that often slapped me across the face to pull me out of the movie. Fantastic Mr. Fox... never watched it. I thought Avatar was going to win it because I thought all of the scenes were enriched by the musical score, but apparently the Academy continued its "FU Cameron" by giving the award to Up. Loved the musical score in Up. Definitely enriched the dialogue-less beginning that made me weep like baby.
Music (Original Song)
"Almost There" from "The Princess and the Frog"
"Down in New Orleans" from "The Princess and the Frog"
"Loin de Paname" from "Paris 36"
"Take it All" from "Nine
""The Weary Kind (Theme from "Crazy Heart") from "Crazy Heart" [WINNER]
First off, this felt like a really weak group of nominees. Remember when you couldn't get that Celine Dion song from Titantic out of your head? Remember when the Aladin song was playing on the radio 24/7? None of these songs did that and it felt like a real stretch when they pulled songs from Paris 36 and Nine and had to dip twice into the Disney bucket. I've never heard of any of these songs but knew that Crazy Heart was going to win it because of all the critical acclaimation it got. I just didn't know it was being sung by Colin Farrell. That was a surprise.
Short Film, Live Action
The Door
Instead of Abracadabra
Kavi
Miracle Fish
The New Tenants [WINNER]
Never heard or watched any of these movies. Can't believe they wasted air-time on short film categories. I don't know a single person that has gone up to me and said, "Hey, you want to go watch a short film?" Where do they even show these films? So I'll make up my own ideas on what these movies are about. The Door is a horror movie about a door being delivered to a home only to find out that it's too big so the people who bought it decide to cut it down to make it fit. Instead of Abracadabra is sad tale about, what else, dead rabbits. Kavi is about the cousins of the Na'vi in Avatar and we learn why Sigourney Weaver decided to just ignore them. Miracle Fish is about the 1972 Miami Dolphins and ends with (SPOILER ALERT) a message to Tom Brady telling him to, "Suck it." The winner, The New Tenants, is just 15 minutes of topless women jumping up and down in front of the camera. Yeah, I would have voted for that one too.
Short Film, Animated
French Toast
Granny O'Grimm's Sleeping Beauty
The Lady and the Reaper
Logorama [WINNER]
A Matter of Loaf and Death
Another short film category? And what's the deal with the bread? Two of the nominated short films here have something to do with bread in their titles. I probably would have voted for Logorama on the sheer fact that the title makes me think it's about doody.... wait a minute... is it Log-orama or Logo-rama? Forget it. I'll just vote for The Lady and the Reaper because it sounds like a funny sequel to Lady and the Tramp.
Documentary Short
China's Unnatural Disaster: The Tears of Sichuan Province
The Last Campaign of Governor Booth Gardner
The Last Truck: Closing of a GM Plant
Music by Prudence [WINNER]
Rabbit à la Berlin
Heard some crazy lady took the mic from the director/producer and started rambling about whatever it is that crazy people rant about. Didn't see it live. Would have been funnier if George Clooney did that Jeff Bridges.
Best Documentary Feature
Burma VJ
The Cove [WINNER]
Food, Inc.
The Most Dangerous Man in America: Daniel Ellsberg and the Pentagon Papers
Which Way Home
Huh, no Michael Moore movie this year? Oh well, I just sing to fill in some empty space.
*Ahem*
It's Peanut Butter Jelly Time! Peanut Butter Jelly Time! Peanut Butter Jelly Time! Peanut Butter Jelly Time! Peanut Butter Jelly! Peanut Butter Jelly! Peanut Butter Jelly with a baseball bat! Peanut Butter Jelly! Peanut Butter Jelly! Peanut Butter Jelly with a baseball bat!
Costume Design
Bright Star
Coco Before Chanel
The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus
Nine
The Young Victoria [WINNER]
Oh, a movie based in Victorian England wins the award for best costume design? Oh, how original! Since I actually haven't watched any of these 5 nominees, I just don't care.
Cinematography
Avatar
[WINNER]Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
The Hurt Locker
Inglourious Basterds
The White Ribbon
Really? Harry Potter was nominated? And what's The White Ribbon? If I knew what "cinematography" is, I'm sure I'd be pissed. At least Avatar is going home with some hardware (along with billions of dollars from ticket sales).
Best Film Editing
Avatar
District 9
The Hurt Locker
[WINNER]Inglourious Basterds
Precious
Not sure what the difference is between film editing and directing. Unless the film editing is all about the scene transitions. I'm a personal fan of the Star Wars movies and their use of every possible PowerPoint slide transition known to man for their scene transitions.
Art Direction
Avatar
[WINNER]The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus
Nine
Sherlock Holmes
The Young Victoria
You bet your ass Avatar won this one. That's another win for Avatar in a category that no one cares about. When are we getting to awards that will actually be talked about the next morning?
Best Foreign-Language Film
Ajami
El Secreto de Sus Ojos [WINNER]
The Milk of Sorrow
Un Prophète
The White Ribbon
Oh, so the White Ribbon was a foreign film... my money is that it's a pretencious French film that's actually about a ribbon, like that Red Balloon flick I see a lot of spoofs about. Ajami is probably about pajamas. El Secreto de Sus Ojos is probably a reenactment of the OJ Simpson murders. The Milk of Sorrow is what I used to see a lot of before I met the Doc, so I expect to see some royalty checks coming my way. Un Prophete is probably the tale of the worlds one true prophet: Slartibartfast.
Adapted Screenplay
District 9
An Education
In the Loop
Precious
[WINNER]Up in the Air
District 9 was a book? That was surprising.
Original Screenplay
The Hurt Locker
[WINNER]Inglourious Basterds
The Messenger
A Serious Man
Up
Now the Oscars are just yanking me around. How did the Hurt Locker beat Inglorious Basterds? I'm surprised Quentin Tarantino didn't jump on stage and shove his fist down Oscar's throat. I'm not a huge fan of Tarantino, but when it comes to writing an original story, he is downright magical. You totally missed on this one, Oscar. Shame on you. Side note: congrats to Up for being nominated.
Animated Feature
Up
[WINNER]Coraline
Fantastic Mr. Fox
The Princess and the Frog
The Secret of Kells
Like a fat kid running to a table of donuts, you better not get in Pixar's way. I'm surprised that Ponyo wasn't nominated, but I do have to give props to The Secret of Kells. Never heard of you, but your animation reminds me of Fairly Odd Parents and that makes me smile.
Director
Quentin Tarantino, "Inglourious Basterds"
Kathryn Bigelow, "The Hurt Locker" [WINNER]
James Cameron, "Avatar"
Lee Daniels, "Precious: Based on the novel 'Push' by Sapphire"
Jason Reitman, "Up in the Air"
Let me set the record straight. This was not an upset. But what is upsetting is how much the news is overplaying the whole, "She's a woman and no woman has won this award in 60+ years!" Forget the fact that she's a woman. Drop the idea that women haven't directed a good film in years. Enjoy the fact that it was a good movie.
Supporting Actor
Matt Damon, "Invictus"
Woody Harrelson, "The Messenger"
Christopher Plummer, "The Last Station"
Stanley Tucci, "The Lovely Bones"
Christoph Waltz, "Inglourious Basterds" [WINNER]
We now enter the 2 categories that were pretty much set in stone since the Golden Globes. All I have to say for this one is Christoph Waltz was amazing, as I've mentioned before in a far more prestigious award (link).
Supporting Actress
Vera Farmiga, "Up in the Air"
Mo'Nique, "Precious" [WINNER]
Anna Kendrick, "Up in the Air"
Penelope Cruz, "Nine"
Maggie Gyllenhaal, "Crazy Heart"
Didn't watch Up in the Air. Didn't watch Crazy Heart. Definitely not going to watch Nine. Didn't watch Precious. I'll just go with the critics on this one. Love her stand-up.
Actor
George Clooney, "Up in the Air"
Jeff Bridges, "Crazy Heart" [WINNER]
Colin Firth, "A Single Man"
Morgan Freeman, "Invictus"
Jeremy Renner, "The Hurt Locker"
Really? I've only seen one of these movies (The Hurt Locker). Everyone and their mother probably knew Jeff Bridges was going to win, but they probably also have not seen the movie, which just makes me weary of the whole Oscar process. I'm not taking anything away from Jeff Bridges. I'm taking away from the fact that Brad Pitt wasn't nominated for his role in Inglorious Basterds or Robert Downey Jr. for his role in Sherlock Holmes.
Actress
Meryl Streep, "Julie & Julia"
Sandra Bullock, "The Blind Side" [WINNER]
Gabourey Sidibe, "Precious: Based on the novel 'Push' by Sapphire"
Helen Mirren, "The Last Station"
Carey Mulligan, "An Education"
This was basically a two horse race. I was pulling for Meryl Streep but don't mind that Sandra Bullock won.
Best Picture
Avatar
The Hurt Locker
[WINNER]Precious: Based on the novel 'Push' by Sapphire
Up in the Air
Inglourious Basterds
Up
The Blind Side
District 9
An Education
A Serious Man
And now we are at the finale. What used to be a cutthroat, shin-breaking, elbow-in-the-face type of award has now become a list of ok movies. Apparently, the Academy already forgot about the year that The English Patient won, where it seemed to struggle to find worthy nominees. I'm all for Avatar, The Hurt Locker, Inglorious Basterds, Up, and The Blind Side. Precious, Up in the Air and District 9 are a little bit of a stretch, but An Education and A Serious Man? Not only are they uncreative titles, but they are also movies that I don't even remember being in the theaters last year.
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